How to End a FWB Situation
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How to End a FWB Situation
| Thu, 08-19-2004 - 11:24am |
How do you go about breaking off a "friends with benefits" situation? I have realized I need more from life than he is willign to give me and although this was fun for a long time, I am looking for a long term relationship that will lead to commitment, marriage, children, etc, andt he is not looking for that -- at least not with me. I cannot continue to see him in a "FWB" capacity, and I don't feel as though we can go back to just hanging out as friends, it will constantly lead to sex and I'm obviously no longer able to separate my feelings for him from our friendship. That's not to say in three days, three weeks or three years, that might change, but for now, I just can't. I just don't know what to do or say to break up with a "friend"!!!!! Should I just start reducing the amount of time we spend together -- become busy, etc, until he asks what's wrong -- or should I be straight up and say look, I like you, but we're not looking for the same thing and this "relationship" is preventing me from finding whatever that is for me? Any thoughts???

Tell hiim that you've decided you want a partner to share the joy and sorrow of life with, you want to date to find a partner in life that wants commitment.
Thatyou cannot continue to see him sexually, you do not wishto hang out as friends for at least 3-6 months until you've gotten your life together so that you're not seeing "him" as a potential partner.
Tell him honestly, you've begun to develop feelings for him in terms of commitment due to having sex.
He'll stop having sex withyou immediately and he'll wait for your resumption of friendship.
What he doesn't want nd has never wanted is "commitment". And your open admission that you do is going to let him know that if he continues to pursue "just sex" - he's going to get your emotional entanglement and attitude and actions towards him as well as physical gratification.
If you stop being available - he'll still want sex and you've been a source of no oblgiation sex, that's hard to come by, and he'll continue to pursue sex and you'll remain as you are - terrified to tell him the truth (and quite likely the reason you're reluctant is because he's going to do the above - and say "okay, fine, great, we won't ocntinue" and that is going to hurt you tremendously to "know" that he didn't ever want more than sex), trying to avoid him..and that is not you moving on intelligenlty and responsibly with your life and getting yourself in an emtoional and mental position to objectively review people as potential partners.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com