How long did it take for him 2 come back

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2005
How long did it take for him 2 come back
2
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 1:52pm

I've been lurking and have a question for you, two-three timers. How long did it take for you to restart the relationship again the second time? How long did it take for him to come back? Did you initiate first contact or did he? Had you been in some contact with him before or were you in complete NC mode? How long did it last the second time? Were old issues brought up or ignored?

Also, for the ones who's exes did contact them after x amount of time after NC and you had moved on, how long did it take for them to contact you again?

I know this is a long shot for myself, we've been broken up for about two months now. In the beginning it was an explosive break up but in the last couple of weeks we've touched bases from time to time. Says he still loves me just needed space yadda yadda yadda. We both have some issues to work out and honestly both need to spend some time alone to get back to our individual selves and regain our focus because we both got incredibly lost within each other. It's been hard but I am defn. surving. I won't be a FWB. I'd love to get back with him (yes I know), I know this will take some work and time and better communication on wants and needs. After reading this board, even though many say that it will defn not work out, I'd like to give it a try at least once.

I see that many say NC is the best way to go - will give him time to miss me (and vice versa), I am wondering if by keeping contact (we text/talk maybe once every two weeks? keeping it short.) am I "ruining" my chance of reconciling. I am aware that every situation is different. So this is why I ask this here. I am guessing however it will have to do with the right time and circumstance? But seriously I am curious. Did you just start talking again and then start hanging out and it happened from there?

I know many would say move on but not quite ready, am willing to give it a chance again and do things differently.

So gals, without jumping all over me for wanting to give things a chance again if possible, tell me your stories good and bad.

BTW, in our case, there was no other woman, no arguments, etc. We made the classic mistake in getting a little bit too comfortable with each other and began excluding others and going out and even having sex! - our life had started to get a little dull. I'd like to say we just got "lost" within each other. Our relationship just needed a little kick start so to speak and unfortunately the choice was to just break up - he wanted to take a break, I told him we should just break up. "taking a break" to me sounds a lot like 'breaking up' so why not just do that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2005
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 4:00pm

Just don't wait...I did it...and it makes it so much worse for you. I'm going through it now and I thought the same way you did...when he sees me, he rememebers, great times...blah blah. Really do you want a guy to have to physically see you to miss you and love you? OR should he just never want to lose you in the first place?

We can do it. We have to. NC and try to think about it like that forever. His loss.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 9:59pm
I know this isn't really what you want to hear...but my experiences with getting back together haven't really been good.
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