How long do you wait for a proposal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
How long do you wait for a proposal?
1
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 9:50am
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Edited 10/31/2005 9:56 am ET by krn2004
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 11:18am
First, let me say that I really am impressed with how pulled-together and centered you seem about all this. I know it can be so hard to walk away from something that seems great in so many ways but has one glaring flaw.
I think you already know what you should do-- it's right there in what you've written. You know what to say, and you know why you should say it, and now all you have to do is do it. I think you're absolutely right about "momentum"-- before ending my recent relationship, my ex was about to propose and we'd been together for a little over a year, whereas I was also once in a relationship for FOUR YEARS in which marriage was never even mentioned (because, deep down, I think, neither of us wanted it.) It's sad to think the old "why buy the cow..." mentality still exists, but truth be told, after a while in a relationship with no one taking the next step, it starts to ring true.
One thing I might suggest when you talk to your guy: some men have this idea that women are just "looking to get married"-- like it's the goal of being a wife that's important to us, when really, what we want is to marry the man we love. So make sure that when you talk to your bf, you point out that it isn't simply that you're looking to get hitched, it's that you want to marry HIM, and that you can't continue with someone who doesn't feel as strongly about you as you do about him. He might surprise you by revealing some REAL reasons for his reluctance to get engaged, rather than just excuses, and hopefully, you'll be able to work things out.
Good luck.