How long it takes to get over a breakup?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
How long it takes to get over a breakup?
14
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 2:28am

Hi I was wondering if you guys believe that the amount time it takes to get over break up is half the time you went out with the person. For example say a girl went out with a guy for a year it would take her 6 months to get over him, then around the time when she was over him is when he would begin to miss her and go through the pain of the breakup as guys tend to try and distract themselves so that they do not have to deal with the pain right away, whereas girls tend to deal with it right after it happens. I do not totally agree with this theory, but I have experienced similar situations with my ex's where right when I began to get over them, or was over them that they would call me and want to see me, so this somewhat holds this theory to be true. However, I am not so sure the amout of time really is determined by dividing how long you went out with the person.
What do you guys think. I personally really feel that it all depends on the individual and how much they loved the person and the circumstances of the situation. So let me know what you think about this, as my friend and I had a discussion about this today and I would like to see what the general consenus of this is.

Thanks

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2007
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 7:13pm
I wasn't attempting to be hurtful when I made my comment, although Sheri I think you are. I was simply sharing my own experience and opinion; I thought a message board encourages that. And please don't be disrespectful of my spirituality; I was merely making a point that I used that to help me cope. In no way am I completely over my boyfriend just yet--a lot was shared between us, and I don't see getting over someone as easy as flipping a switch. I was merely making an observation. There is absolutely no need to be disrespectful here.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 8:19pm

Glad to hear you weren't trying to be hurtful--your post had a definite "I'm way more evolved than the lot of you" tone to it IMO and that rubbed me the wrong way, given that a lot of people on this board grapple with and are bothered by how long it takes them to get over their ex and I don't think that means we are any less spiritual or whatever.

In any event, I'm sorry I misinterpreted your meaning. There was no disrespect intended in my response, I was just pointing out that people can be plenty spiritual and still take longer than they want to or think they should to get over a breakup.

Sheri




Edited 1/10/2007 8:38 pm ET by northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Thu, 01-11-2007 - 2:10pm

After my divorce, it took me almost 3 years to have a serious relationship. That was over half of the time I was married.

I'm not sure what will happen this time with me, but it's different. I really don't think I'm going to wait 2 years this time... I think that I won't rush it, I know that I will be honest and I know that if it is meant that I should be with someone else... he will come along.

I've learned a lot this time around... just like the last time around... only this time it hurts a lot more because I was caught so off guard.

honesty is the best policy...with yourself and others. Only YOU will know when the time is right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2007
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 5:51pm
Thanks so much for that reply; I greatly appreciate it. Now that you mention it, I can totally see how my words may have been offensive; I apologize to not only you but anyone else who may have been offended. I do think that such message boards can be helpful and encouraging, especially with a tender subject such as break-ups. I hope everyone finds a path to acceptance and peace in their own positive and healthy way. :)

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