How long is this sposed to take?
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How long is this sposed to take?
| Tue, 11-07-2006 - 2:12pm |
Things are working out..thanks for all your help!
Edited 11/9/2006 6:05 pm ET by sandalsweety
Edited 11/9/2006 6:05 pm ET by sandalsweety

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but after a 3 year relationship, it's probably going to take upwards of a year to get over him completely.
Now, don't panic--you're not going to feel THIS bad for the whole time. It's a gradual process, and you'll feel like you're going backwards at times...but if you allow time to pass, don't have any contact with him, and focus on accepting he isn't right for you, then eventually you will feel better and get over him completely.
As far as getting to the point where you don't think of him every day--hard to say, but probably at least a couple months since your last contact.
We all want that fast-forward button. But it doesn't exist, unfortunately. One of my mantras when I'm going through a breakup is, "the only way out is through". You have to go through the pain to come out on the other side.
And no--seeing him at Christmas is not a good idea. NEXT year, perhaps, but not this year. Or, if you decide that you absolutely cannot bear not to see him, accept that it is going to set you back and delay your recovery by several months.
Sheri
Sorry you are going through this, but TRUST me when I say it does get better.
You can't fast forward through the pain so don't try to. I think I tried to and it just made me feel worse. It has been 6 months since my break-up and I do still occasionally have my "off" days where I feel down and depressed, but I pick myself right up and move on.
My ex and I were together 4.5 years.
It will take time for you to get over this.
I highly recommend no contact for at least a month. And Christmas might be too soon for you to see him, but only you can figure that out for yourself. My ex and I didn't see eachother for 3 months. We now hang out about once a week. We're working on things, and I don't recommend this for everyone. We like you and your ex didn't break up over bad things, it was just because we're young and we both needed our own space.
Rely on your friends and family. Mine helped me tremendously through everything. Write what you are feeling on paper then burn it. Or write him "hate" letters and burn them. Great therapy...
You will get through this.
And if it's meant to be that you guys end up back together, then it will be.
--HUGS--
~Amber
I hate to be the barrier of bad news but getting over someone after being with them for 3 years is going to take some time and I am not talking a couple months. This could take up to a year but I guarantee, each passing month gets better as long as you don't have any contact with him. Seeing him at Christmas is not a good thing at all. Go surround yourself with people who love you which are your friends and family. Christmas is a time to be around people that care about you not an ex-boyfriend. If you see him at Christmas, this will only set you back and slow the moving on process. My ex and I have been broken up for 5 months and I still have down days but what helps (besides no contact) is concentrating on healing myself and going over the reasons in my head why he is not right for me (and there are a lot of them). Don't dwell on the good that you two shared, think about why he is not right for you and that will also speed up the healing process. Many of us think about the good times we had with our ex instead of the bad which is why they are exes in the first place.
Take each day one day at a time and come up with ways to better your life and don't worry about what is going on in his life (really, who cares?).