How to move on while still living w/ ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
How to move on while still living w/ ex
2
Fri, 11-26-2004 - 10:11am
My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. I have an 8 year old child that is going through some emotional problems himself. Because of my child's current emotional situation my exboyfriend has offered to stay at his place until the school year is over and my son is better able to handle this change in his life.
I am very grateful for my ex's support and help, but its very difficult to be under the same house with him, sleep in the same bed and not have feelings for him. I am trying to read and learn more about myself and the understand what lead me to destroy this relationship. I still love my boyfriend, but I understand that I have to let him go, he's very unhappy and has done more than enough to make my life easier.
What can I do to make this transition easier, or how can I let go while still living together and sharing part of our lives for my son's sake?
I am extremely sad that this separation is happening during the holidays it makes it much harder, even last night we did not have thanksgiving together and it will be the same for Christmas and New Year's. My Ex-boyfriend is determined to move on and wants to start a new life; his sacrifice is for my son and for his well being. I just have the wrong thinking. My heart tells me that maybe this time will allow us to mend our relationship, but he has made it clear this time is not for us, for the well being of my son.
I don't know how to detach!!!!
Any thoughts out there?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Sat, 11-27-2004 - 12:21pm
I think now would be a good time to focus on finding a new place to live and getting all your ducks in a row for the move. I think it's generous of your ex to offer you two a place to stay and to make things easier on your son....but you're eventually going to have to move and you and your son are still going to have to go through the same emotions associated with that and you might want to consider moving out before the deadline....so you can both heal quicker. Good luck no matter what you decide and keep us posted!!!











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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2004
Sun, 11-28-2004 - 1:06am

Oh Honey Im so sorry u kno y?...because ur story hits close to home actually not close but it hits right at home o broke up with my ex back in oct and we tried doing the staying in the same house share expenses for the childrens sake because of changing schools and all that but hoiney and im telling u this from my experience it gets bad u cant move on while u r there it just wont happen...feelings r still there and u r going to get sicker by the minute wondering and seeing him come in and out wondering who hes with what hes doing...

And since u been with him for a while or i dont kno how long...but u know his schedule and what he does and all that but still in the back of ur mind u kno he meets new ppl and he sees new ppl he meets females and now hes single he cant flirt believe me is not safe for ur heart and ur sanity...i was going crazy but u kno what i had to make a decision and move out!!!! because what good em i to my kids if i am emotiopnally a wreck my kids werent happy i had to go, i found a place i moved 2 weeks ago im happy now im really moving on i have no contact is what i wanted NO CONTACT! he wanted it but not me it helps u heal faster is no sense in being in contact believe me it only procrastinates ur healing process...now tell me do u have anyone to help u thru this to make this move anybody that u can stay with i dont kno i know is very hard but in the long run moving would be best for ur child he will be happoer children sense things and they feel uncomfortable...im sorry if im blabbing but is just there so much i have been thru and ur story is like mine believe it or not i thought that was only happening to me it was o weird to me to be broke up with this man and still iving in the same house to me it was insane something that was unreal....let me kno how u r doing