how to start over?
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 09-29-2005 - 10:30am |
Hi everyone- I'm new to this so if this seems like a repeat scenario, bear with me. THe basic situation is that I'm 28 and in the process of a divorce from a relatively short marriage. I dated this man for several years through most of my twenties so I know little about being single. I recently dated someone somewhat seriously but it ended in heartbreak (nothing new). He was a typical emotionally unavailable commitment-phobe who didn't realize he 'couldn't be in a relationship' after I'd already invested my heart in him. I'm still very upset about that even if he may have been a rebound guy. Now I find myself not sure how to start over. I don't want a serious relationship, but I'd like to dip into the dating pool.
I haven't been single in almost a decade. I'm attractive, spunky and fairly outgoing. Most of my girl friends are just now getting married so meeting men as friends-through-friends is difficult. (Plus I don't have a lot of female friends anymore since my divorce.) I do not want to date anyone at work either. Although I like going to bars/clubs, I don't particularly like meeting men there because I find that they talk a good game but there's very little follow through in terms of mental or emotional maturity. I'm not looking for a casual encounter if you know what I mean.
I have been out of the social scene in terms of hobbies and activities for the last few b/c I've been in school and I was married so I didn't join groups and whatnot in the community. (please don't suggest volunteering) I don't know much about online dating so I'm not sure if that's an appropriate way for me to meet others. Compatibility is more important to me these days rather than falling in love--I've been there and it doesn't last that way. I'm just not sure how to start over-- I'm sure some of you more experienced women out there must have some thoughts on this issue, particularly those who have been divorced. And just to put this out there- I cannot stand it when people tell me things happen for a reason and it will all work out in the end. I don't want to sit around waiting for Mr. Right Now if I can do something to get back out there on my own. please help!

You go girl, what you said is exactly how I feel, right down to the "it will all work out in the end". I can't really help with a suggestion but I just wanted to let you now your not alone, there are alot of us out here in the same boat, just not catching any fish. LOL Hope you get some great suggestions, I'll be checking. And sorry I couldn't help but thank you for putting it out there for discussion.
Good luck and take care,
Felicia