hurt...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
hurt...
3
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 2:35am
Hi guys, I just need to vent. My boyfriend of 8 months and I decided to go on a break and see how we feel about each other in three weeks and if we still miss each other, then we'll work on our relationship. So, 2 days after the break, he found someone else (actually it happened while we were in our relationship, that was prompted me to talk to him. He looked straight into my eyes and said that nothing can happen between him and this girl) and he seems to be madly in love with her. They spend all the time together, holding each other. A couple of my friends saw him. I am so deeply hurt. I know that it wasn't meant to be, but I was so astounded that after spending every single evening together for 8 months he so easily moved on. I wouldn't be able to see myself with anyone else right now. I need to go through the process of healing that is so hard to do. I don't even know if I should contact him in three weeks, or just let it be...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
In reply to: newyork2004
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 10:02am

Hi

I’m sorry that this guy turned out to be not worth your time. Believe me when I say he is not worth it. Do not bother calling him. Anyone who finds someone else while they are dating someone already is a real jerk, who cannot be alone and usually has no guts to end one relationship, before starting something new. Those are his issues, and let’s face it, you don’t want someone like this in your life, when you really think about it. You want a guy who will care about you so much that he will cry if you dump him.

Take care of yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2005
In reply to: newyork2004
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 2:55pm

Trinity seems to be right on the mark.

This guy acted very shamefully and cowardly. This person may have some great qualities that initially got you attracted to him, but his betrayal and the manner in which he did it shows that he has deeper issues which make him wrong for you.

He will end up hurting this new girl as well.

Stay positive and do what you can do NOT call or write this guy.

Good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2005
In reply to: newyork2004
Sat, 07-16-2005 - 3:29pm

First of all, I am so sorry this has happened to you. A situation virtually identical to yours happened with me about two weeks ago. We were (I thought) happily engaged until he came to me one day saying he felt we needed a break. We didn't actually come to any agreements as to how this break was going to work, but it didn't really matter because the very next night he was with someone else. Now he says he's happy with his new relationship. As a woman of similar circumstance, here's my advice: he wasn't man enough to come to you and say "This relationship isn't working for me and I think we need to go our seperate ways." Instead, he took the 'easy' way out. His behavior (as with my ex's) tells me that he is very insecure and could not handle the period of aloneness that would (and should) follow the breakup of a serious relationship. I strongly believe that after a breakup of a meaningful relationship, both partners need to allow themselves a period (the length varies by person) to accept the passing of their relationship and what the other person meant to them, etc. Without this, any new relationships one seeks out would be more of a balm to the heart than anything. To me, it sounds like he wasn't feeling satisfied (for whatever reason - there is no need for you to direct blame towards yourself) and wanted to end the relationship, but wasn't adult enough to do the right thing (for you, him and everyone else in the world). In that case, good riddance!

Jennifer