Hurt & Confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2007
Hurt & Confused
1
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 7:38am

Last fall I started dating a very close friend and coworker of mine. Prior to getting involved in a relationship, we spoke openly about what our expectations were and he communicated to me that he had met someone that we both new. I told him that if he was interested in her that he should date her and I would not have a problem with it - as we were just friends at the time. He continued to pursue me heavily, express his undying love for me and reminded me everyday that he was not interested in her. Well, a couple of months go by and I find out that she pays him a visit on a regular basis. Now, I did not hear this directly from him but though mutual friends with both work with. I expressed my concern to him about the situation and told him I did not feel comfortable with it. He still denied that he had any interest in her and that I should have nothing to worry about. As a close friend, whom I have known for many years, I trusted that he would not disrespect me.

I had to go out of town for business and when I returned he was acting rather strange. He avoided me for about a week. When I finally confronted him as to why he was avoiding me and told me that he needed some time and space to think about things between us. I granted his wish and respected his time and space. For about two weeks after he dumped me he would call almost everyday to just chat. I did not show any interest and kept the convesations with him very short. Shortly after that, I was told that he had begun dating "the other women". I am sure that they were dating while he and I were going out. When I confronted him on the issue he confessed that they had been dating but not when we were going out. He stated that she was not his "girlfriend". However, I doubt that is what he is telling her as they have been vacationing together.

I feel like a complete fool. I had trusted someone that I thought was a really close friend. Most of all I am hurt becuase I know the friendship that we had prior to this relationship is now gone (although he still attempts to speak to me). I am not sure why he would behave this way to a friend - if I was a friend at all. My problem now is trying to avoid running into the two of them.

Any feedback to this situation would be helpful....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 4:59pm

You know, with the exception of one thing you did, this one's on him.


The one thing:

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