hurting big time

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2004
hurting big time
3
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 11:32pm
tonight being new year's eve i was skeptical if my cheating and pleading to be forgiven boyfriend would demonstrate his commitment as he promised or not. big nay on that we've been dealing with with a long distance relationship and i've been giving him the benefit of the doubt for a long time and unfortunately tonight i discovered for the final time becuase i am not giving him any more chances that he was with this other woman.
the story is too much i think you all would be in shock to hear the sh== i've put up with except that within this forum i am expecting women have been through a lot of crap
i am hurting a lot this is my first big break up
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2004
Sun, 01-02-2005 - 1:34pm

Hi...sorry for your pain.

I'm recovering myself from a cheating boyfriend. We lived together two years and then I catch him with another woman lying on top of him. I very nearly passed out from the shock right there, I barely made it down the stairs. Like I've said before to others on this site, the first few weeks I was crying so hard and long I'd frequently vomit. I lost a lot of weight. My hair was falling out. Never saw it coming, he acted like he really loved me. I really loved him. It's four months now. Still hurting, but it does get better. Expect to have a lot of pain and crying for awhile but remind yourself it WILL come to an end and you'll move on to a better situation for yourself. Try to find a few things to occupy your time and interest. It feels phony at first, but gradually you'll find new routines. Write any time, everyone here is happy to listen...

P.S. Mandatory homework: Read "He's Just Not That Into You," "He's Scared, She's Scared," and "Why Men Love Bitches." Get them at the library for free or buy them at a bookstore but you will be glad you did...all very empowering books.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Sun, 01-02-2005 - 3:42pm
I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this pain.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2004
Sun, 01-02-2005 - 10:06pm
Hi, thank you both for writing. After 2 days of denial, he finally admitted that they saw each other, he wants me to believe that it was somehow coincidental or whatever, which I am not buying. he says how he loves me, he never meant to hurt me, she is not part of his life, etc etc but he keeps seeing her/talking to her on the phone. this girl is crazy which she has demonstrated by harassing me on the phone (she got my number from his phone) this is a long-distance relationship and as such needs to be built on trust, and he has violated that time and time again. I tink your point about not having any contact is good because he doesn't seem to get it that when I say it's over.
it's doubly hard because I am new in town, don't have a lot of friends here, work at a very small company, and don't have a car. ugh.