this hurts like crap!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
this hurts like crap!
6
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 8:12pm
My boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me 2 months ago saying that he wasn't ready for a serious relationship yet. I was so heartbroken but we stayed friends and some days it would be okay, and some days it was so hard, but I didn't want to give up being friends with him! We have been talking pretty regularly and for a while we were acting like we weren't even broken up. This girl that he liked before we started dating has come back in town for the summer and he has been talking to her and stuff. Some of his friends were trying to hook one of his friends up with her and he said "What? Am I not good enough?". Anyways, so since she has been in town, we haven't talked at all. He hasn't called me and I don't want to bother him by calling him. I am so scared to move on! I don't want to lose him! But then again, I don't want to be the stupid one that sits around and waits for a guy that has already moved on. Just last week he kissed me and he told me he wanted to marry me though! Guys are soo confusing! What should I do?
Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 12:51am
You're probably not going to like what I have to say, but I'm going to say it anyway. It sounds like staying in touch with him really isn't the best thing for you. It sounds like it's hurting you. There are few things harder than having to be friends with someone that you wish you had more with. The fact that he says he would marry AFTER breaking up with you, is almost cruel. Surely you can find better friends, no? I'd say end the friendship so you can really get over him and find someone who will treat you well and cherish you. Just imagine the heartbreak you will experience when he starts talking about a new relationship ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 12:59am

He's going to eat all the cake you let him have.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2006
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 9:17am

Dear, I would back off this one for a bit. It sounds like you are a bit too convenient for him. Really, he is stuck on this other girl and you deserve to have a man who wants you for you, not because he can't get someone else!

I realize that you care for him, but stay away from him (no kissing) for a few weeks to give him time to decide what and who he cares for and to decide for yourself what you NEED from a man. Remember, he's not the only attractive nice guy out there. Besides, a truly nice guy doesn't back off from one he loves to try for someone else.

You deserve sooo much better than this kind of treatment!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2006
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 2:37pm

hi itsmeagain2006

well if he mention to you that his not ready in any serious relationship. what make you think that he'll be serious with her? not with you?

dont get me wrong but actually this whats wrong with as ladys we assumed too much and make things harder for us. think about it? i dont think all the girls they like they will get it.

also what i think your not ready to be friends with him coz your still getting hurt if you hear things like about the girl..its hard to be friends with the exbf...unless both side are all ready move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 9:30pm
Thank you so much for the advice! It is hard, but I know if I can get over this hump in the road that I will be ok again...
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 9:34pm
Thank you so much for the advice!! It is just hard because I thought I knew him and I just cant imagine him doing something like this.. But I guess he is... I just wish this process didn't take so long.