Husband just walked out on me on fri

Avatar for gobfuse
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Husband just walked out on me on fri
5
Sun, 05-07-2006 - 4:30pm

On Friday, my husband left to stay at a hotel for a couple days.


We were married nearly 7 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Sun, 05-07-2006 - 7:54pm

I am so very sorry about this, Julie.

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Avatar for gobfuse
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Sun, 05-07-2006 - 8:35pm

Thank you for your advice!


Luckily, I suppose, we don't have any children.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Sun, 05-07-2006 - 9:49pm

Good luck in resolving this, and I do mean that sincerely.


....."But as half of this marriage, I think I have a right to insist he at least goes to a few counseling sessions to see if we can work this out."..... Try and put your foot down like that, and I can guarantee you he will think you are putting it down right on his throat and you will only succeed in pushing him away further.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2006
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 1:11am
oh julie, we are in the same boat. My husband of 6 years left me on friday too. He gave me the I'm not happy and haven't been for a while routine, but truth be known as I've thought about nothing else this weekend. We have been happy, i have every memory around me and I know that I wasn't just imagining that happiness and love we shared...I certainly didn't see that unhappiness when we were hugging and kissing last week! Or when we were planning our second honeymoon!! I too feel blame for part of this, we had disagreed about money, but it does take two to tango. As I've thought all week it's because I threatened his power and control and he didn't like it, so he wasn't fighting fairly and he wasn't communicating with me. But couples fight, and they work it out..Isn't that what we trade vows for, in good times and in bad times...they seem to forget those precious vows. I feel hurt that even though we fought, that this simple disagreement, could take those 6 years away. I hear your pain and i am dying inside just like you are. I begged for him to try counseling, to try even a seperation, but he just got up and walked away...how can they do it? I can't give you any advice but just know I'm here and I'm hurting and scared and unsure of the future just as you are and I hope we can take comfort in knowing our husband isn't the only evil man out there. We can't force someone to be happy or to love, but it sure would be nice if we could....if I could he'd be here instead of wherever he is. I know it's not another woman it was anger that drove him away from the marriage and I hope with time he will settle down and come home and work on marriage, that's what love is, all work but the rewards were supposed to be endless. Stay Calm and YOu'll be Okay is all I've heard in the last few days, I'm having a hard time doing both... Get your finances in order and get a list of your debt and assets, and get them out of the house so he doesn't have access that way you can get some control and power back, open a p.o box and get some money, even if you open at another bank. Just in case he seriously doesn't come back....protect yourself. I'm doing these things now, and I'm preparing for a horrible day tommorrow. You'll be in my thoughts, I wish the best for you! Good Luck and If you need to talk or vent...I'll talk or vent with you. Hugs and more hugs
Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-31-2006 - 3:05pm
Definitely request that he see a therapist with you. Trying to convince him to stay in the marriage isn't going to work, and I think you know that. But if you approach it from the standpoint of telling him that it would really help you to cope with the situation and adjust to his decision, then if he still cares for you even though he may not love and may still want out, he should be willing to see someone with you for at least a few sessions. You have nothing to lose.