I am going to call her, ask her out

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
I am going to call her, ask her out
20
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 6:13pm
Ive got myself conviced I should call my ex (who broke it off with me after 5 years of dating) and ask her to get back together.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Thu, 01-17-2008 - 5:32pm

Rossjack


You are being so hard on yourself. Its entirely possible you did nothing wrong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Thu, 01-17-2008 - 5:49pm

Well, the very last thing you want to do is change for her.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Thu, 01-17-2008 - 6:03pm

We dated for almost 5 years, when we got together I was only 18 and had justed started college...i was planning on proposing to her this winter/spring but looking back on it I should have known it was falling apart.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Thu, 01-17-2008 - 7:01pm

rossjack


Look at the bright side of this. What if you had gotten married and she decided a year later she wanted to try out the single life?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 5:08pm

I know there is some bright side to this but it is so hard to get over her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 5:17pm

I think you're going through kind of a fear of the unknown. Given this is your first major relationship and breakup, it probably feels like nothing will ever be the same and you will NEVER feel what you did for her. I know what that feels like, but since this is my second big breakup (the first being 14 years ago) I use logic instead of feelings to get me through this. So, even though I sometimes feel very bad and miss him so much, my "logic" tells me that you've been through this before and you will either meet someone great in the future and not even think of the past, or you will be totally happy (and should be totally happy) being alone too.


I just know that all I have to do is wait it out. It sucks, but it's true. It's ok too have all the feelings your feeling too.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 5:29pm

I totally get what you mean about having a house and watching it all burn down....you have dreams and you are working towards them and you never think about a Plan B.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 5:32pm

I know your right, but I feel like I have lost something so beautiful in my life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 6:03pm

I dont get that ONS stand thing either, I never felt like I was missing out on anything. As you know, my ex did it and he told me it was the biggest mistake he made. He felt guilty and horrible about himself and he said it only made him realize more how much I meant to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 6:06pm

It's not dumb...you sound like a really romantic guy! Just keep going with what are doing and vent here all you want. I may be wrong, but I do sense that you might be a little low on your self-esteem. I could be reading it all wrong. Based on some of your other posts too, I think you undermine what a great person you are and what YOU offered to the relationship. Do you ever wonder if she is sitting around with her friends waxing romantic like you are about how the relationship was? I'm guessing she isn't. I think it's really common to put our ex's on pedestals when in reality they might have serious issues they are dealing with (fearful of commitment, addiction, wanderlust, etc).


 

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