I am pregnant by my recent broke up ex.
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| Tue, 12-14-2004 - 12:10am |
I was bleeding heavily today for 30 minutes and almost passed out so I called my doc. She is going to see me tomorrow morning and also suggested me that if I want to find out whether I am pregnant or not by myself first, I can do that before she sees me tomorrow morning. I thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to rule that out since I have been taking birth control pills for a long time and I don’t believe I would ever get pregnant. I was wrong. I am pregnant now for sure. Did twice the EPT tests and both times they came out positive. I must be pregnant for two month by now. We broke up on 10/22 and I have not had intercourse with anyone else. I cried and felt my life is so low besides suffering losing of my love of 1.5 years. He wasn’t my first love but I loved him the most of my life. Two month ago I was so afraid and suspecting that he was cheating on me, I backed out my love to him. I pushed him away and he broke up with me on my birthday. We have not talked except this past Sunday for about 5 minutes.
What do I do now? My life is so mess up now. Tomorrow I am going to see my doc and I am sure the result is going to be the same. I am pregnant. Although I was bleeding this morning and I don’t think I will able to keep the pregnancy and I don’t’ want to keep it either. Should I tell him or just go ahead and take care the rest of myself? I sense I might have to have a complete abortion if I didn’t loose the kid this morning. Should I not tell him? I just don’t want to have any more drama and nonsense. I can not take anymore emotional hits. If I do tell him, what do I say to him? And when should I tell him?
Please help. I do not want to have a kid without a father and I do not want to have a kid to save my relationship either. I still love him but I am in a bad position to think straight right now about what should I do now.
Pleas help me.
Thanks
Nancy

I am so incredibly sorry for your situation. The worse thing you can do now is make a decision from the low point you are in and make the situation even more agonizing and hard to live with. It sounds like you may be miscarrying. If that is the case, and you lose this baby, I do think your XBF at least should know. No more than a "I just thought you should know" informant, but he helped create and he should know.
If you don't miscarry (or haven't already) and remain pregnant, I strongly suggest you give the child up for adoption. You are stuck between a rock and a hard place right now--hell, saying that is the understatement of the year isn't it!? You know you don't want to be a single mother and have a child in these circumstances. But if you abort the baby, you will be adding trauma and stress and a lifetime of regret to the already heartwrenching situation you now are in. But giving up your baby is no easy thing either. BOTH situations, abortion and adoption, are extremely difficult choices to make. The difference is one will kill a life and one will save a life. Given the incredible amount of loving couples out there who can not have a child of their own, who would cut off their right arm to have one, the bennivolent act of giving them that incredible gift will, in the long run, leave you feeling better about yourself and the tough decision you made.
I don't envy the situation you are in, but please please don't make any rash decision that will leave you with a lifetime of regret. See your doctor and determain if you are still pregnant or not (miscarrying will still give you a positive EPT test). Then, if you need to make a decision with where to go from there, get informed. Email me through my profile link if you like.
I would really love to hear my bf's voice and let him comforts me so I would feel better morally. I am here in this country by myself for about 15 year now and this is the only time I felt so lonely and scared. My families are not with me here. I don't trust my bf would give me the support and help that I needed. He might blame it on me again. Well I think I might've already had a miscarriage. I am in pain physically and mentally right now.
Did you tell your Dr. about your suspecting that you are miscarrying? Could you have an ultrasound? Or is that what was going to be done Thrusday when you go back?
"I don't trust my bf would give me the support and help that I needed. He might blame it on me again."
!!! What do you mean he'd blame it on you "again"?!? Has this happened already before?
I never had either pregnancy or miscarriage happened with my ex. The things that my ex blamed me about were our break up for example which was caused by me because of the month of October I was no where can let anyone get along with me. I was not trusting him and giving him hard time to push him away, etc. Now I know why of course. The month of Oct I started to get pregnant then. So he is still very angry and bitter about our break up. He was so harsh and criticized me for pushing him away from our relationship etc. I mean he sent me some emails that were like personal attacks to me. Besides there were some other misunderstands caused by his best friend who believed that my ex and I would never talk with each other so he made up some disgusting stories such as I was trying to seduce him by sending him naked pictures, etc which I didn’t do. He got really angry and thought I am a bad person. I think it's easy for that happen when you don't talk to each other at all. I didn’t feel like that I should or want to explain this to him at all so we remain not speaking with each other.
Well, I am suffering from a lot of pain right now. Last night I had severe pain from my right side of lower ab and today I couldn't even go to work. I was going to call the 911 last night at 3 but really afraid to get on to the ambulance by myself. I was thinking of calling him since he lives about half mile away, but I didn't. I don't want to have any stories telling at 3 in the morning. I rather suffer the pain I knew.
My doc just called and asked me to be seen right away. I am going to the emergency room as soon as my friend comes. I don’t know what can happen but I am having severe pain right now, both mentally and physically.
Nancy