i became less attractive to him, & more
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| Mon, 08-08-2005 - 5:23pm |
so, i'm a college student, we're both going to be juniors. we had been dating for 8 months, and were definitely in love. 4 days ago, he decided that he didn't like me like a girlfriend anymore. "i love you...like a friend." then he said "i don't know how to say this without sounding bad...but i'm just not attracted to you anymore. physically or emotionally." but he's a nice guy...other than this.
it was a much longer discussion, but that's the part that hurt the most....
the logical half of me knew we weren't meant to be forever...but i wasn't expecting this at all. he didn't like so many things about me, and he never told me until he broke up with me. all these little things about me were eating away at him.
and how can someone just stop being attractive after 8 months?
i'm sort of okay, because i know deep down that he wasn't the best for me. but it's soooo insulting and hurtful....
i haven't talked to him since, and i don't plan on it for awhile. he wants to be friends but i can't even think about that now.
any advice...on feeling better, even short-term? i know it's better in the long run that we broke up...but it's hard now....
and the worst part is that now i feel so insecure about how i look. it took me awhile to trust him and i thought he really valued me and thought i was a beautiful person...

Hi Neve,
I read your post and just had to respond. I am so sorry you're hurting like this. Your ex is the one with the problem not you. Unless you've changed tremendously both physically and emotionally over the past 8 months...it's not you it's him. Some men who don't know how to adjust to the different stages in a relationship blame it on the other person instead taking a good look at themselves. Once the beginning high of being in a relationship ends and the normal day to day comfort zone kicks in some men are too immature to handle this and get bored. Unfortunately I gave my ex one too many second chances and now I'm faced with the reality of moving out and providing a home for me and our daughter as well as another child on the way. Let him go and don't look back. Just keep busy and before you know it you'll be over him and ready to start dating again.
God Bless!
Alison