I broke up with him :(
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I broke up with him :(
| Fri, 11-05-2004 - 2:54pm |
I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. I don't know if I made the right decision or I overreacted.
He's very sweet and loving and treats me like a princess, but I just can't stand the fact that he has these other women friends in his life to whom I think he gives too much attention. One of them is my roommate, that's how I met him. They used to date a few years ago and now they're just friends. I know there's nothing sexual or romantic going on between them, and she has a boyfriend right now, but I just think he cares too much about her and that bothers me. They go out to dinner almost once every week, he always tells me to go with them but I never do cause I don't get along with her in a social way, we just share our apartment and that's it.
A couple of weeks ago he went to dinner with her and some other friends and we had planned to spend the night at his place after he was done with dinner. I was waiting for him and he calls me at 12 am to tell me he's a little buzzed and was gonna wait an hour to get sober. He came over after 3 hours, at 3 am, when I was already deep asleep. I was pissed off and broke up with him. Then we talked and I realized maybe I overreacted so we got back together. But I would assume he knows that that type of behavior upsets me, right?
So here's the thing, last night they went out to dinner again with other friends and he was gonna come over to our apartment (mine and my roommate's) after dinner to spend the rest of the night with me. I came home late and tired and just wanted to go to bed. Instead of cuddling in bed with me, he said he was gonna watch tv with my roommate, in her bedroom. Half an hour later I went to her room to check on them and they were cuddling watching tv. That pissed me off so bad! So I said, this is it, didn't he get it that him being so attentive to her pisses me off?? So I broke up with him and told him this time it was for good.
Am I being overly jealous and possessive? I'm wondering, because I've never been the jealous and possessive type. It's just that this feels so wrong, you know. Considering the fact that they used to be a couple. The reason I don't understand his position is because I would never do something like that, you know, being so close and attentive to an ex-boyfriend, even if we were just friends right now, if I knew that would make my boyfriend upset.
What do you think?
He's very sweet and loving and treats me like a princess, but I just can't stand the fact that he has these other women friends in his life to whom I think he gives too much attention. One of them is my roommate, that's how I met him. They used to date a few years ago and now they're just friends. I know there's nothing sexual or romantic going on between them, and she has a boyfriend right now, but I just think he cares too much about her and that bothers me. They go out to dinner almost once every week, he always tells me to go with them but I never do cause I don't get along with her in a social way, we just share our apartment and that's it.
A couple of weeks ago he went to dinner with her and some other friends and we had planned to spend the night at his place after he was done with dinner. I was waiting for him and he calls me at 12 am to tell me he's a little buzzed and was gonna wait an hour to get sober. He came over after 3 hours, at 3 am, when I was already deep asleep. I was pissed off and broke up with him. Then we talked and I realized maybe I overreacted so we got back together. But I would assume he knows that that type of behavior upsets me, right?
So here's the thing, last night they went out to dinner again with other friends and he was gonna come over to our apartment (mine and my roommate's) after dinner to spend the rest of the night with me. I came home late and tired and just wanted to go to bed. Instead of cuddling in bed with me, he said he was gonna watch tv with my roommate, in her bedroom. Half an hour later I went to her room to check on them and they were cuddling watching tv. That pissed me off so bad! So I said, this is it, didn't he get it that him being so attentive to her pisses me off?? So I broke up with him and told him this time it was for good.
Am I being overly jealous and possessive? I'm wondering, because I've never been the jealous and possessive type. It's just that this feels so wrong, you know. Considering the fact that they used to be a couple. The reason I don't understand his position is because I would never do something like that, you know, being so close and attentive to an ex-boyfriend, even if we were just friends right now, if I knew that would make my boyfriend upset.
What do you think?

this guy sounds like a real jerk...when i read the part about him cuddling with your roommate i could not believe it....why would you want someone like this in your life?
you did the right thing....too bad you still have to live with your roommate...they both deserve each other....
take care of yourself and be proud that you were not willing to be treated that way.
good luck....
As for yesterday's incident.....I can see how you'd be upset and I think most girls would be upset to see their guys cuddling with another girl...especially an ex. But I would go ahead and hear his side of the story...there may be a good reason behind it.
No matter if you decide to try and work this out or call it quits for good I think you should try and find ways to control your jealousy.....if it's not under check it could ruin your current relationship or any future ones.
Good luck and keep us posted and remember we're here if you need us!!
cuddling ... in bed....with an ex girlfriend...at your current girlfriends house....is never acceptable....
period!
Your post here about my mind telling me there must be a reason to be jealous considering that I'm not the jealous type in normal situations, that was really clever. So guess what... Ok, I'm not proud of this cuz it might seem a little pathetic to do, but anyways... turns out my roommate is not sleeping here tonight. That normally wouldn't surprise me cuz for the past few months she's been spending the weekends at her boyfriend's and I had been spending mine at my ex's. But check this out, it's so true about women having a 6th sense. Something inside me tells me she's over at my ex's. So it's 1 am and I drove over to his place and guess what, her car is parked in the garage! How sick is that!
I had to do this, not to torture myself, just to make sure I have enough reasons for not ever taking him back. Just so I won't fall for any sweet words he might give me when he realizes what a great loss I was. Damn, men are real jerks. Well, I guess it's partly my fault cuz when we first met and were just friends, he told me he cheated on all his girlfriends in the past, and he even said it like he was proud of it. Then when we started dating and getting closer and serious he gave me all this crap about "I haven't felt like this about anyone for a long time... blah blah blah... You are soooo different from anyone I've known... blah blah blah (bullsh****!) With you I feel I wanna change my crazy ways.... blah blah blah..." And I was so stupid I fell for that! It's so pathetic it's even funny. And I had promised myself I would stay away from the bad boys after I got heartbroken in a 3-year relationship with a bad-boy type... We girls never learn, huh? I read a post the other day, very smart one. Someone was saying that a lot of women like the bad-boy type cuz they make us feel we are so great and special that we have the power to change them, it's a challenge for us, and if we get them to fall for us, wow, wouldn't that make us feel so great about ourselves? But the sad thing is, I don't think these guys ever change. It's really sad. Before this guy here I had another boyfriend, he was the good boy type, really nice guy, totally crazy about me and had eyes only for me. I took him for granted and broke up with him cuz he didn't give me any sort of excitement in my life. Well, I guess I got my excitement now.
I've had it... No more men for a while... I'll just focus in work and school... And I guess I'm gonna start working on my own issues on why the heck I keep getting attracted to bad boys. This time I think I learned my lesson... No more bad boys in my life... I hope so...