I broke it off offically yesterday :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
I broke it off offically yesterday :(
1
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 2:14pm
well i wrote before we were separated for the last 5 weeks. Still talking still seeing each other. Well this week I went over on monday and I asked him directly what are we doing how do you feel? Because I cant do this anymore. I need an answer. He basically said the spark is gone and he doesnt know how he feels anymore. He doesnt think its going to work out. Well the odd thing is I stayed we watched a movie and then when i went to leave he gave me a kiss goodbye? So i thought we were broken up on monday but then that made me confused. I didnt call him tuesday he called me. It was a quick conversation cause I did not feel good. And he was sick as well. Well i didnt call him wednesday either and he calls while Im at a friends house. And asks angerly why i havent called him. I told him i thought he needed space and i was leaving him alone and if he wanted to talk he could call me. We talked for a little but then I had to go and his response was "there you go again not wanting to talk" and hung up! Which I am always the one to try to talk. So im figuring he was just mad from me not calling. Thursday night he went out w/his friends till 1030. I called him left messages and he never called back. The on friday I waited till 830pm thinking he would call. And I finally called him. He was cold and sounded annoyed. And when i asked well do u want to hang out tonight. He was like "ahh no Im tired, I dont feel like doing anything." I asked what his problem was did he find someone else. And he flipped out and told me never to call him again. Without thinking I rushed over there (I know, i know!) and when i walked in He goes "who the h told u you can just walk in here whenever u want?" And i was like well you didnt pick up your phone I dont care anymore we can break up but i need to know when i can get my stuff. His response was I dont care whatever whenever! So i said fine sunday I will be over to pick it up. And i went to leave and hes like "JUst take it now!" and im like i cant i have plans tonight. Hes basically yelling where? what? what guy are you going to meet?" And I just ignored him and left. And he called on my cell and asked where my plans were. And I responded "I been thought enough with Maddison (loss of our daughter) please dont call me anymore I will be over to pick mystuff up on sunday and he hung up on me. So thats it! Its over. Im relieved. But i dont feel single as of yet. I honestly thought this man was the one my soul mate thats why I put up with so much. I cried today reading all the posts on here. Its just so sad four years and someone falls out of love with you. How is that possible? It makes me scared to believe there really is even true love out there. Four years and its over?! I feel like this is my fault I feel worthless today But i know in my heart he didnt treat me right.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 5:03pm

I hate those break-ups - the ones that drag on and on and you never really know where you stand. my self-confidence gets all shaken and I feel so stressed and worried dreading the inevitable 'end' that I start to wish it was already over.

And then you break up and it's just as bad as you thought it would be except for one thing: You don't have to wonder anymore. You don't have to wonder if it can be fixed, or if he loves you deep down and just can't express it, or if he feels you're worth fighting for. It sucks that the answer (for me anyways) is 'no' to the above questions, but at least I know.

Getting your stuff is going to be awful. There's no way to help that. I made a mental checklist of what I had at his place so I didn't end up driving away and regretting having forgotten something. I was able to get in there and get out with minimal fuss (see my break-up story) but you're probably going to have a harder time of it because he seems to want to talk to you, then not, then demand you be available to him, then not return your calls. that's such bulls--t, if you'll pardon the expression. I know you love(d) him and you'll miss him but he's showing such childish behavior. We all deserve to date someone - fall in love with - even have fights with - someone who acts like a grown-up and respects our feelings.

I am so sorry on the loss of your daughter. That's a grief you'll probably carry for years. I can understand being loathe to heap another dose of heartache right on top of it with this break-up. Especially because this is someone who went through it too and understands it like it feels no one else can. but it doesn't sound like he wants to work through it with you. And he's not the only one. There are people out there who help other people for a living - counsellers, support groups etc.

I don't know - I'm babbeling. Just wanted to send you a hug and let you know I'm hoping things so smoothly and that you'll let us know how it goes.

L