I broke it off but still feel bad
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| Wed, 11-07-2007 - 6:24pm |
I broke up with my fiancee today, over the phone.. it's been a long time coming. We lived together here in NY and then moved together to FL. I left him in FL in Aug but said at that point we could work on things long distance. He visited here a few times and then last week I went down....it was supposed to be for a week, I did not last 24 hours. I realized I no longer loved this man, I was no longer attracted to him in any way...I left. I got home and apologized and then finally I really started to try to see us 5 years from now and I couldn't so I broke it off for good.
Background.. he is 55 and 2 times divorced I am 35 and never married... although he says he doesn't have ED.. we never had intercourse.. never had much of anything but a friendship and then roomates. There was a time I loved him greatly inspite of the obvious shortcomings, but then I discovered internet affairs and alike and I stayed through those too but... it all just caught up to me. I realized I did not miss him in my bed, I don't think about him much during the day...... but now that it's final... I am feeling empty and scared... what if there is never anyone else?
E

Hi, I'm sorry you're feeling scared and alone right now. Please know that there is a lot of wisdom contained in these postings, keep reading and keep posting.
My ex was a bit like your ex. He didn't seem interested in having sex with me, and we were together for less than 6 months. He seemed happiest sleeping on the couch, and physical affection was pretty rare. Sometimes he gave me a peck on the mouth before he left for work, but that would be about it. It felt like we were roommates, not boyfriend and girlfriend. I made excuses for his behaviour - he has a cold, he's sore from work, he's cold, his knee hurts, etc. He is 38, I'm 34.
Over the last few days post breakup, I've realized that I want a boyfriend that wants to have sex with me, and wants to show me physical affection. I don't want to have sex just once a week. I want hugs and kisses. I want someone who finds me pretty.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
hugs, lisa
Welcome to the board confusede,
Everything you feel is normal..... you still have to grieve for what could have been, for what might have been, for what you hoped would have been.