I broke up - that's a first
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| Tue, 06-07-2005 - 1:24am |
Hi all,
I'm Diana - I'm 40, and I broke up with my boyfriend tonight - he's 49. This is a first. I usually get dumped, but tonight I took the reins and ended it. Reason being: Been together almost 2 years and we are on 2 different planes. He is afraid to get married. He also honestly isn't living life as a 49 year old. He hasn't paid taxes in 5 years. He lives in such a sloppy mess that he won't let me over. He won't let me see his computer (that red flag REALLY has bothered me a long time).
He's a real sweet guy, but he doesn't have the same wants that I have out of life. Anyway, the main reason I'm writing is that this is SO foreign to me for having done this FIRST. What can I expect to go through? I already am feeling guilty about hurting him, which was not my intention at all. I guess it was somewhat unavoidable, but what I'm saying is that for a LONG time, I was putting this off because I was more worried about hurting him versus my being happy. Any advice on what I can expect emotionally on my end would be appreciated. I've already been on the receiving end!
Thanx thanx thanx,
Diana

Hi Diana, you did the right thing. Don't feel bad for knowing what you want and recognizing that this guy is not the *one* for you. It sounds like he's holding you back, and you've got alot to offer someone. It is your needs that you have to take care of, because he was certainly not. Breaking up does suck, but better to do it now and you will have a great weight lifted when you are free. Try to cut all ties as soon as possible, and don't let him cry and whine so you will feel worse. And most of all, if and when you start to feel lonely and miss the companionship, DON'T TRY AGAIN. He's probably not going to change his ways any time soon. You deserve so much more, hold your head up, you are not a bad person for expecting that. Stand your ground, and don't let it drag out. It will only depress both of you. After you take some *me* time, go out find someone amazing. You'll be so glad you let this anchor holding you down go!
good luck,
Grace