I Bumped into him AGAIN!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
I Bumped into him AGAIN!!!!!
5
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 11:17am

Hi everyone,

It's been a while since I last posted about bumping into my ex b/f. Well I bumped into him AGAIN and this time he was with his g/f!!!! I guess NYC is just too small for the two of us. I was caught quite off guard. We were at the same karaoke bar and I thought he would be away at him summer share for the weekend--I guess not. So there he was with his friends and her singing the same songs and doing the same things he did with me. We looked right thru each other and just ignored one another pretending we were complete strangers. I wanted to bolt for the door but decided to stay and save face. So I finally saw the girl he left me for....blonde haired blue eyed very pretty girl. My ex is white and I am Indian, I can't help but wonder if that wasn't the reason he couldn't see himself with me long term. I just don't want to think about it because the pain would be too excrutiating if that is the case. I think someone is just playing a very cruel joke on me!!!! I guess I really needed to see this for once and for all to make me finally realized what a complete jerk off he is and how I am better off with out him. I didn't shed one single tear that night and after. I guess this rollercoaster relationship we had just made me completley numb--I'm surprised I'm not a mess like I was four weeks ago when we hung out and he told me he had a g/f, I think then I cried all the tears out. My heart is broken but I believe there was a reason for this...I finally got my closure. Seeing him and her together....happy....gave me the strength to finally walk away for good.

Now what?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 1:24pm

I am so sorry that you had to go through that - it must have been very uncomfortable. As awful as it was, hopefully you can now start to move on. Easier said than done, I know!

As for "Now What?" now that you have closure, you can start focusing on yourself. Pamper yourself, workout, make plans to go out with friends. I know it won't be easy, but eventually you will find yourself having fun and not even thinking about him (for a least a few hours!) I think a very common reaction is to want to get involved with someone else to fill the void. For some it works, but for me it just made me miss my ex more, so now I am not looking to date anyone - I just want to get myself back to "normal" - whatever that is.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 2:02pm

Hi Purpleshoes...thanks for responding. Seems like everytime I'm closer to moving on something like this keeps happening and it puts me back to square one. I'm just glad this time I'm not a complete wreck bawling my eyes out. Like I said before he left me emotionally drained and numb. Funny thing is everytime I make plans to go out and have a good time with friends we keep bumping into each other--we both have similar places that we love to go to, I guess I have to find new places to venture to....

I don't think I can even start thinking of dating someone new, my wounds are too fresh and I need to get him completely out of my system before I open up to someone new. I don't want to start a new relationship with left-over baggage, don't think it would be fair for that person.

I agree with you, I want to get myself back to normal as well...I guess we both have to take it one day at a time and hopefully soon we'll both be at a place in our lives that works well for us. Sucks ass that these losers didn't realized a good thing they had...whatever, will not waste another moment on him.

Thanks for writing and good luck to you as well.
Hema

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 2:31pm
It sounds like you are getting a good perspective on things. Eventually the heart will catch up with the mind (anyway that is what I am hoping for!) You're right - they are the losers. Someone else posted about songs, and one of my favorites (even though it's cheesy) is Believe by Cher. There is a great line that goes something like this "now that I've had time to think it through, maybe I'm too good for you." Definitely!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 11:30pm
Congratulations!!!!
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 9:36am

Hi Heidi,

I have to say that this time around I am quite amazed at how well I am taking this. I do feel a bit sad but I haven't shed a single tear so far and I am the typical cancerian--so that is a feat in itself!!!

Let's just say last last couple of days all the pieces of the puzzle started to fit in place and I came to accept that we are not meant to be and I am finally at a point where I can move on with holding on to hope...which is what I did for 2 years!!!

I'm just afraid that this numbness I feel right now will all fade soon and everything will hit me like a ton of bricks and I will have an emotional breakdown....but this message board has help me immensely so thanks for the support.

Hema