I called him...ugh
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| Mon, 06-27-2005 - 6:45pm |
Hi all,
Well, it's been two weeks today since I broke up with him. I was off work all week, spent the beginning of the week just crying into my pillow (literally) all day long. Went to the beach with some family, came back Sunday and *ugh* called him. We talked for a long time (2 hr) but I could tell that his feelings for me are waning. I don't know why I did call him. I guess I just wanted to see if he felt as miserable as I did. Right after that, I knew I had done the wrong thing, and stayed up ALL NIGHT LONG crying, with one call to a girlfriend. I guess I thought that maybe after some time he would come back to me, but he said he was "honoring my wishes and doing what I said I wanted." Well, I did tell him I didn't want any contact with him, but still... I think that if he loved me like he said he did, then he wouldn't want to stay away. I'm afraid I'm turning into a first class drama queen...and I hate myself for being like this. At least I didn't whine about wanting him back or say that I wanted to see him again. I just said that I missed him. So now I feel like I have to start at Ground Zero again. Went in to work this am and felt like death all day, totally disoriented from lack of sleep. I thought this was supposed to get easier with time, and it just seems to get harder and harder. Any suggestions on how to stay away? This is the first time I've contacted him, and don't want to do it again.

I disagree that a man who "really loves you" will call when you've asked him not to. YOU broke up with him, he's respecting your wishes. You need to stick with what you asked for. I understand the feelings, but they aren't logical, when you think about it.
Besides, even if he WERE calling you, that isn't going to make his commitment issues go away. I would suggest that you make a list of all the reasons you broke up with him (using a set of index cards is a great way to do this; see the post further down the board about thought-stopping, which also describes the index card trick) and review it whenever you are tempted to call him or you miss him.
I would also strongly suggest that you get and read the book "He's Scared, She's Scared" by Steven Carter, and read, re-read and commit to memory the last section in the book, how to get over a c'phobic relationship.
Sheri