i can't go on without him
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| Fri, 05-11-2007 - 11:13am |
I don't know what to do with myself, it's been almost 4 weeks since the break-up. I wake up in the middle of the night with a panic attack, I get upset at night before I go to bed, I cry on the way home from work or the gym. It's awful. I talk to friends at work, friends back home constantly and nothing is helping. I try to go out during the week, flirt it up with other guys, but I'm still so broken and I miss him terribly.
Lately, the past week, we have been talking on and off. I lasted a whole 2 weeks with No Contact, but then I broke down one day and asked if he could talk. (I know I'm weak!!)
I called him once, he called me once, he even spoke to me online the other day saying he missed me. I got him where I wanted, then I screwed it up! He asked me to lunch, and I said maybe. He thought "maybe" meant "no' and we never met up.
Anyhow, the way I've been feeling, I'm dying to know if he EVER wants to get back together, or is he just trying to be "friends." I know he still loves me and all that crap, we broke up for personal reasons, no one cheated or anything. How long do I go on like this, as "friends"? I realize it's only been a couple weeks. It would be weird if right away he said "lets get back together." But I've had friends who's bfs wanted to get back together after a month, 2 months, even a year later. I don't want to drag on this "friends" thing for months and then realize we're not getting back together.
I love him with all my heart and soul, I thought we were meant to be. This isn't some laid back relationship, we were talking about the future together. That's probably what hurts the most. And now I have no desire to find anyone else. Because no one else compares to him. He had that something that made me melt in his arms...I miss him sooo much. He gave me that excitement and passion you can't exactly find in your friends.
What should I do? Let him contact me? Should I write him a letter? I don't want to force the issue, I feel like that's the last thing a guy wants, an exgf who begs to get back together. What to do, my heart is in pieces.

Hi,
I can relate to you, as my ex and I also spoke about our future. I think we were pretty set on spending the rest of our lives together, but he broke up with me a little over two weeks ago. Relationships that end hurt, ESPECIALLY when there is talk of the future. It can be deathly painful. I've not spoken to him since we broke up, I need my space and distance (although I admit I really want to hear from him...maybe for some satisfaction!). I wouldn't suggest being friends after a break up, I think it's too hard, and especially if you still have romantic feelings for your ex. Don't contact him. If he wants to contact you, he will. You need to heal and focus on YOU. Trust me, I know how much it hurts (I miss him ALL the time), but I know I shouldn't contact him, after all, he broke up with me.
Like the person before me said, if he wants to truly be friends, he will understand your need to keep your distance from him right now. I told this to my ex, and he said he understood. If you are meant to be friends, you will be, but it'll take some time.
Good luck to you. You're in my thoughts. XOXO.
My suggestion would be to try and arrange a meeting with him. Not a date. Talk. Figure it out and either get back together or get come closeure.
But in the end, YES, you can live without him...you just don't want too...that's the difference. I know that breaking up is hard to do. But life DOES go one. Wounds do heal. As long as you both are honest with each other and don't play any games...I think that it will all turn out the way that it's supposed too.
Good luck girl! I'm rooting for ya! Let us know what happens. :-)