I can't stop crying now

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
I can't stop crying now
5
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 9:52pm
I was doing okay - it has been a week since he broke up with me. He IM'd me last night and now all I can think about is him. I've been listening to the Carpenter's and flipping through albums. I know I shouldn't be doing this, but I can't control myself. I love him so much and I still wonder why I wasn't the one for him. I know there's nothing I did or say, but I can't help wonder if I did something differently he'd still be here with me. I really want to be strong and move on, but it's still so hard. I just wish this sadness will go away. Sorry - I just needed to type out my feelings.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 9:54am

Hi,

You need to break all contact with him.... no e-mail, IM, phone, etc., all contact because otherwise everytime you do hear from him you are going to be at square one. I know what I am talking about. Mine kept calling me even after he dumped me and I kept talking to him because I kept hoping that he would realize his mistake and want me back, it just never happened. The only reason he kept in contact was because guys know that it is much harder to get over someone if they keep communication lines open and keeping you on the back burner; just in case things don't work out in his current situation. That is why most posters tell you no contact is the way to go. I told mine three weeks ago (I should have done it 5 months ago) that I no longer wanted to hear from him and I am finally feeling better. I thought about him less yesterday than the day before and today I know I will think of him less than yesterday. One step at a time. I wish you comfort. Take care. Lucy

Avatar for alsatia23
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 11:49am

Are you feeling any better today?







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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 10:18pm
Thanks - I just bought myself a diary today also. I'm doing better today - I felt down all day, but I called up a friend and had dinner with her tonight. I want to feel better soon and I know I'm rushing it since it has only been a week and a half. Holidays are hard - I wanted to spend Thanksgiving with him and we were talking about it right before he broke up with me. I'm just fortunate I have friends who have been supportive and let me cry. It's the nighttime that's the worst so hopefully keeping my feelings in my journal will help. Hope you're feeling better too!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Thu, 11-25-2004 - 11:44am
I can compleltely relate to what you are feeling. Even though I told my ex not to call or contact me in any way, I find myself checking my cell every few minutes and checking my E-mail every couple hours. I can't help wondering why he wasn't happy with me anymore, what it was that I did or said. But then the sensible part of me kicks in and screams NOTHING!!!!!!!!! It's these stupid guy's problems if they don't want to be with us, becuase sooner of later one day they are going to wake up and realize that good relationships are hard to come by and they had it pretty damn good with us. But guess what? By the time they do that, we will have already moved on and/or come to the realization that we can do better than them and we deserve better then what they've offered us. What I've been doing that seems to help is contacting friends you have'nt talked to in a while (especially guy friends). You need to go out with friends and get totally trashed and rediscover the joys and excitements of being single. You can flirt or dance with any guy in the place without having to feel guilty or remorse about it. It can also help you reclaim the sexiness you most likely do not feel right now, wear something that makes you feel sexy, like your best fitting jeans and knit top. I'm not saying go to bars every night and get drunk and try to pick up guys. I'm saying call up some friends, put on your dancing shoes and get out there again, before you know it you've maybe gone 10, 15 maybe even 20 minutes without thinking about him. Caution: always go out and get drunk with people you can trust (especially guys). Although the next morning you might suffer from a hangover or missing him again, you can rest in the knowledge that YOU went out with YOUR friends and had a great time WITHOUT HIM! I urge you to be the strong surviving woman that I know we are, don't take this laying down, but get up and show him that you can be without him and do fine. Trust me, when he comes crawling back to be your friend or maybe more, he'll be shocked.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Thu, 11-25-2004 - 11:58pm
(((Sweetie))) Don't be sorry for expressing your feelings...that's what this board is here for!!! I think it's only natural to feel the way you do. Just try to stay busy....read a book, join a gym, take up a new hobby....anything you can throw yourself into that will occupy your time. Eventually you'll feel better but it just takes time and we're here to help!! Good luck and keep us posted!!











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