I caved.........
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I caved.........
| Tue, 10-09-2007 - 8:07am |
I made a mistake and made contact after a long bout of not talking to her.... or emailing, i am not even sure how long its been, but I am starting a new job today and its got me kinda scare, new environment , new procedures, government contracted.... I had to send her a note , hoping my rock could be there.... as i have not come to face, she was not.... i was doing so good to.......
why does this happen?
me...

My counselor told me that when we are scared we often fall back on old behaviors and coping mechanisms. We may have been putting in place more helpful ones, but we have years of familiarity with the old ways behind us, and those can trigger in times of intense stress. Keep practicing no contact and new ways of getting support.
Hang in there.
....."I had to send her a note , hoping my rock could be there....".....
It's all right there, actually. She used to be the one to calm you or help calm you, and now she's not that anymore. It's really helpful and empowering to learn that the best person to truly count on for reassurance is yourself; other people can add to it, but they can only add, they cannot be the sole source because as you found out, one day they may not be able to respond they way you need in the moment.
Good luck in the new job!