I cut him off...is that wrong???

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2005
I cut him off...is that wrong???
3
Sat, 08-20-2005 - 12:39am

We dated for five years...there had always been talk of marriage and families etc. Earlier this week he informed me that he no longer saw a future for us and didn't want to marry me anymore. I respect that he had the decency to tell me and not lead me on, so I can honestly say I am not mad at him, just saddened that world has been turned upside down. He wants to be friends right now, I cannot do that, which he respects. I don't intend to see or talk to him for a few months at least. I do still love him and hope that we can be friends down the line if not more. Am I doing the right thing by not talking to him and contacting him a few months from now? I want to talk to him all the time, but I am afraid this will definitely hinder the moving on process.

Any advice would definitely be welcomed.
Thank you

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
Sat, 08-20-2005 - 7:42pm

Absolutely you are doing the right thing 100%! What you may not realize is that it takes most people in a breakup months to get to this point and have this mentality. And most of us know from the start that it's the right thing to do, but saying it is one thing, and doing it is another.

You sound very strong in your perception of what is best for you after your breakup, and you seem to be handling it very well. And you are 100% correct, talking to him will only hinder the healing process at this point.

There will come a time, (most likely) that the two of you can at least carry on a conversation, if not be friends (or more)...and it seems like you're making the right decisions to get to that point more smoothly.

It seems from what you wrote that he seems to be on the same page as you are...which can only mean that it will go more smoothly. Usually along the way, if one part of the couple realizes what needs to be done, the other disagrees...which is what causes heartache. It seems like the two of you have it together though.

I wish you all the best, and keep that positive attitude! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 1:48pm
I think you are doing the right thing. It's very hard, if not impossible, to maintain a friendship at this point. Continuing to contact him will only make things more difficult for yourself, especially if he's moving on and you're not, or if one party "moves on" more quickly than the other. Allow plenty of time for grief and recovery before trying to reignite any kind of friendship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 10:24pm
I think you are doing the right thing!!!
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