I did something stupid...

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
I did something stupid...
8
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 12:46pm
So I found this board and starting reading some excerpts and I realize I did something totally stupid. I initiated contact (sent an email) with my ex because I felt I needed to have a closure talk. Well now things are back to how I remember, with me waiting on him for one thing or another! He asked me for a time I gave him a couple and he said he has to run some errands but will let me know...so now its the waiting game again. Gosh am I dumb..now I am not even sure I even want to meet with him after all..what do i do/say now??
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 12:59pm

What do you do?

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2006
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 12:59pm

It is perfectly ok to change your mind. If you don't want to talk to him anymore, or you feel it is an unhealthy mood, don't. Just tell him that after some more thought you have the closure you thought you needed and it would just be best if you did not meet face to face. The only thing is, once you say that you have to stick to your guns. If you are truly trying to move on, then move on. It is hard, but if you take it one day at a time and find positive distractions, you will make it.

T.

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 2:29pm
Well he called to say he hadn't forgotten, he's just trying to schedule a time to do it but he's really busy...i was like well forget it then and he was like no its important but I just dont know when ... he said he would call....at this point should i drop it or should i write a letter with what i intended to say and move on from there?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 3:18pm

oh men.....i think every situation is different coz read manno post (amber) she call her exbf but things seem great to her and i want to copy her to call my exbf too....now reading your post it give's me a reason rather not to call him. yakkkkksss!!

can you tell me you story please..how you guys end? atleast i have short of idea

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 3:28pm
In a nutshell hes got issues! ha ha...he broke it off abruptly and I had been doing good with the NC until now...I just thought that a final talk would help clear the air (so i dont have to feel like i have to avoid him wherever i go or feel anxious if i do see him)and I thought also talking would help me move on because i am struggling with the last bits of whats left over, been doing better each day but still....now i am just amazed...he does yet he doesnt, unbelievable....
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 2:51pm
DO NOT LET HIM DANGLE A CARROT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE! THE MAN YOU LOVE WILL NOT..!.. M-A-K-E YOU WAIT FOR HIM. I LET MY EX DO THAT AFTER I BROKE UP WITH HIM AND FELT LIKE CRAP EVERY SINGLE DAY!! I FINALLY STOPPED THE EMAILS AND PHONE CALLS. I FEEL LIKE ME AGAIN. THIS IS THE THIRD DAY THAT I AM NOT TALKING TO HIM AND I HAVE CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF AGAIN. PLEASE TAKE IT FROM ME. IF YOU KNEW HOW STUPID I HAVE BEEN AFTER OUR BREAKUP AND HOW I FEEL THEN AND KNOW...I WISH I KNEW EARLIER. GOOD LUCK SWEETHEART.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2006
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 10:32pm

I don't think it was stupid of you. You wanted to resolve things and now that you've spoken to him, you realize that you have closure and that he isn't going ot change his behavior. So you know you deserve better. Good for you, I say.

I also contacted my ex last weekend and we were going to try and work things out. But as the week has gone on and he has become more distant and aloof in our conversations, I realize that he just doing more of the same and is very focused on himself right now and hey, it's not wrong, it's just him and this is what he wants/needs right now. I'm sick of beating my head against a wall though. So I figure that maybe reaching out to him and trying to resolve things was maybe what I needed for closure because I'm just ready to let everything go now and don't feel so postively awful like I did last weekend.

Everyone needs to find their own path to what helps them heal. If your ex calls, just tell him you are all set after all and leave it at that.

Best,

Erin

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Sat, 06-10-2006 - 11:34pm

I did worse than u when me n my ex broke up 3 weeks ago. Like u, I needed a closure from him for me to move on n I have to say the break up came pretty sudden (at least to me) n i just wasnt prepared to accept it.
I called n email him millions of times n eventually he told me its over via instant messaging n i cfm that he has found someone new without me knowing the whole time...
I was hurt n sad but i still sent him a 'thank you n goodbye' email.
A week later, he called me n told me he loves me n not the girl... he said the girl was just there to 'distract' him when he tot its over for us (but lookin back, the time when he has asked me to wait for him n told me he loves me, he was actually starting a relationship with this girl!)
The conversation changed everything. It changed my view on him n he made me realise i m glad it happened now than later. I dun want to be with a cheater.
I dun have the urge to talk or email him anymore. I told him he can have her n i m out of this. Since then, he has been emailing me...

So i guess talk/ closure is good.