I dont get it!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2007
I dont get it!!!!
4
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 7:47pm
I don't get it! My ex and I have gone three weeks with almost no contact. Well I'm calling him my ex but a week ago he was saying we were not broken up. I'm still living as if I'm single. My question is why did he leave and has made no effort to see me but he says that he hopes I still love him, that the thought of us apart makes him very very sad, that he sometimes wants to call me so bad but he distracts himself because he doesn't want to break down in front of me. If someone has feelings and emotions like this why does he continue to stay away? Will someone please explain this to me becaue I don't get it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 1:42pm

Hi little_one8,


Relationships include a willingness to be vulnerable to the other person you are with. If he's not willing to do this, has too much pride, etc.... well, I'm not sure any of us can answer what's going on inside of his head. You have to talk back to those thoughts in your own head, meaning the answer doesn't matter. Of course our logical mind and ego wants to have an answer so we can understand it and accept it.


Sorry you are going through this.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2007
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 1:46pm
Thanks Carrie! This board has been soooo helpful during a very very difficult time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 8:09pm

If it looks like a break up and smells like a break up...it's probrably a break up. ^^.

Sorry, I don't like mincing words. It sounds waaaay too much like my ex. "I'll promise you " But that's all it is..TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK. My guess is he's happy in his self-pity limbo here. You're waiting for him so he doesn't have to deal with the jealousy AND he gets the freedom of a single life. Wow. And all at the cost of your emotional well-being. Must be so rough on HIM. The hardships of the heartless. --''

Man, I'm bitter today.

cheers
Susanna

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2007
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 10:20pm
Wow! I think you hit the nail on the head. I just think he doesn't want me to move on quite yet and that is just mean and HEARTLESS! I think I have started to enter the acceptance state of this breakup. I have said all I can say to him. I'm done but I just wish he would stop with the mind games and let me move on. I have already started moving on. I had a friend with benefit situtation with a guy before I met my ex. I was happy with it but ended it when I met the ex. Well the friend never went away and still continued to contact me. I'm glad I kept him in my back pocket because being back with him has been a very nice distraction for me the last two weeks. Maybe it's not the best way for me to deal with this breakup but it still helps!