i dont know what to do
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i dont know what to do
| Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:04pm |
This is a very long story that goes far more deeper than the bit that i am about to describe, but it comes down to this:
-my ex (who i was seeing for 3.5 yrs) and i broke up because he wouldnt marry me because of relgious/cultural differences..i'm white/catholic..he is arab/muslim
-i started dating someone else because of it, because he wouldnt even consider the idea of marrying me
-when i did start seeing this new guy, my 4ex freaked out and was very verbally abusive towards me. Very angry, very mean, very scary. I've never seen him like that before. He said things to me i would never think of saying to my worse enemy. but still, i love him.
-i have tried to move on with this new guy, tried to forget my ex, but i just miss him way too much. i feel like my life will never be happy without him. i feel like i'll be miserable and depressed the rest of my life without him.
-he says now that he would marry me. i know logically this might not be a good idea, he showed signes of abusive behaviour before and there's a good chance he might do it again. but it has come to the point that i dont even care..even if he kills me, i feel like without him...i'll be so depressed i might kill myself. i compare every guy to him and no one measures up. so i think life would be better if i just married him and put up with potential abuse.
-my ex (who i was seeing for 3.5 yrs) and i broke up because he wouldnt marry me because of relgious/cultural differences..i'm white/catholic..he is arab/muslim
-i started dating someone else because of it, because he wouldnt even consider the idea of marrying me
-when i did start seeing this new guy, my 4ex freaked out and was very verbally abusive towards me. Very angry, very mean, very scary. I've never seen him like that before. He said things to me i would never think of saying to my worse enemy. but still, i love him.
-i have tried to move on with this new guy, tried to forget my ex, but i just miss him way too much. i feel like my life will never be happy without him. i feel like i'll be miserable and depressed the rest of my life without him.
-he says now that he would marry me. i know logically this might not be a good idea, he showed signes of abusive behaviour before and there's a good chance he might do it again. but it has come to the point that i dont even care..even if he kills me, i feel like without him...i'll be so depressed i might kill myself. i compare every guy to him and no one measures up. so i think life would be better if i just married him and put up with potential abuse.
i dont know what to do.
Signatures On
| Sat, 09-18-2004 - 10:39pm |
welcome to the board!! I know you're confused right now but you'll get through this and we're here to help as best we can. It's possible that you've tried to move on too quickly and that's why you're having trouble moving on with this new guy because you haven't given yourself enough time to get over your ex. I think you owe it to this new guy to be honest....that you still have feelings for your ex and that you aren't ready to move on...it's not fair to lead him on, afterall. It's common to compare all guys to your ex though and it doesn't mean you'll never be happy with someone else...but that you need to greive your relationship and heal first. I know you love your ex....but I just want you to be careful....you shouldn't have to put up with any abuse and I'll never say that I *Want* you to go back to a possible dangerous situation. But I also know the heart wants, what the heart wants and that you probably will get back together with him. We're here to support you no matter what you decide but I think you should think things over carefully before doing anything. If you are soooo depressed that you're seriously considering killing yourself without him....then I really hope you can see a professional about this....I'd hate to see you or your ex taking your life. Also he may be using the marriage thing as a way of getting you back and may have no intention of following through. Are you willing to be with him if that's the case? From the sounds of your post you probably are willing to get back with him no matter what. As I said earlier....just be careful. We're here if you need us. Good luck and keep us posted.

