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| Mon, 03-12-2007 - 7:23pm |
Hi there,
I am going to try to make this short. I had gone out with my now ex-boyfriend for about 1.5 years and we have been broken up for a week now. We had a great relationship for the first year and then i fell into a bit of a depression and he seemed to not care about things. So i broke up with him because i had lost myself in our relationship. I did everything he wanted to do when we were going out and was at his house almost everyday so i needed time to get to know myself and he was going on vacation to thailand for a month so i thought it would be a perfect time. I thought that this was a good idea, i found myself and i also realized that i wanted to be with him for a very long time. So i told all him this when he got back and he said he was scared to get back together so we just hung out for 3 weeks and then i talked to he about it again and said he didn't know, he was scared....My ex struggles with anxiety and i think he is having a really hard time right now coping with everything....we talked about this and he couldn't give me a definate answer when he would want to get back together with me........I know he really loves me but this kind of ending leaves me hanging.....he walked out of the door of my apartment crying his eyes out and saying that he didn't know how long he would take for him to want to go out..........should i wait.....this is the worst ending ever :(
Thanks for your input,
penney

Hi penney, and welcome,
Why are you pressuring him to get back together with you? YOU broke up with HIM originally, and now you think you made a big mistake and want to get back together, when perhaps the break-up really hurt him and he's afraid you'll change your mind again. After all, you were only separated for a month, it hasn't been that long. I think he has every reason to be unsure and scared, and if you really want him back then you need to show him that isn't going to happen. If you have any doubts about having made a mistake, then I don't think you should try to reconcile.
I can understand why you'd be hurt if you felt he wasn't supportive of you when you were feeling depressed. Did you explain to him how you felt and what was depressing you? Did you talk to him about feeling uncared for? Some guys are dense when it comes to dealing with feelings, and its possible that he didn't know how to make you feel better when you were upset, so he avoided it. I'm certainly not saying that's RIGHT -- a supportive partner will try and help you work through things -- but some men need to be coached a bit on how to listen an respond to women. For YOUR sake, if you feel he isn't capable of this for whatever reason then its probably not a good idea to get back together with him anyway.
Best of luck to you, and please keep us posted.