I don't know what he is thinking...
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| Mon, 05-28-2007 - 11:07pm |
Hi all,
So my friend just informed me today that she hung out with my ex this weekend (they have remained good friends). It annoys me that they hung out but they are good friends so there is nothing I can do. She said he seems bitter and unhappy. He dumped me after all, and I should have some satisfaction that he is miserable. Life is not working out the way he expected it to after he decided to dump me to see if the grass is greener elsewhere. He complained to my friend that I don't talk to him and that I don't want to be friends. This makes me angry. Why should I talk to him after he dumped me? I told him I needed space and distance. Does he have such a big ego that he thinks I want to be his friend after he broke my heart so badly? He is SO CLUELESS. He never sees anything wrong in his behavior. I'm just really angry because he has not contacted me at all since the breakup (yes, I know I told him not to), not even to see how I am doing (and he knew I was really upset after the breakup), but actually expects me to contact him? He wanted to remain friends, I said that it's not realistic right now. He doesn't get that, I guess. If he is so unhappy, why doesn't he be a man and contact me? He has so much pride so he never would. He told my friend he won't go to her party in a month because I will be there. As if I did something wrong! My friend told me it's because he knows I will feel awkward and he doesn't want me to feel that way. I know I told him I need my space, but it frustrates me to no end that he actually has the nerve to mention that he's pissed about it to my friend. I should be satisfied that he's unhappy, but I'm not that way at all. I actually feel bad these he's unhappy. Even though he broke my heart, I feel bad. Sometimes I miss him. Sometimes I'm angry at him. Sometimes I'm sad. I feel like a basketcase. I don't know if I want to be friends. I don't know if I'm still in love with him...I don't know how I feel at all.
Who knows what's going through his head? I wish I didn't care!
I know this post is all over the place...I'm just venting.
Thanks for reading.
Edited 5/28/2007 11:22 pm ET by mpiece1982
Edited 5/29/2007 12:19 am ET by mpiece1982

Hi mpiece,
Has things calmed down some?
What you wrote here, sounds like a very typical journal entry from someone that needs to vent.
He's not going to contact you after you said not to, no matter how unhappy he is. He's venting to the friend as a way to get to you. You hear the story, you feel sorry for him, you contact him, that way he's still following your rule of needing space.