..."i dont luv you anymore"...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2003
..."i dont luv you anymore"...
4
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 12:30am
has anyone ever ended a relationship w/ their partner because they were not In Love (or fallen out of love) w/ them. And then after moving on and dating other people (after the breakup), you come to realize that you were wrong? would u go back w/ your ex knowing u broke their heart? or would it be easier to start off as friends and work your way up again? Is this a silly question, like something u only see in a romance movie? i feel weird for asking. What's your opinion?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2004
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 12:49am
Yes, I have ended a relationship and realized it was wrong. And no, it's not a silly question. We were together 11 years, married almost 5. I realize now he's the one I've clicked most with. But it's too late for me now. He's been living with a woman for a couple of years. With therapy, we might have worked out our differences, and I wouldn't have gone through the nightmares I've gone through.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 2:00pm
You know, it is key to live your life with no regrets. But sometimes we dont haev the right mental and 'maturity' tools to deal with relationships. Speaking of 'something out of a movie" most people have really deluded perceptions of the 'sparks' that shoudl exist in a relationship.

The sparks that are there in the first several months have nothing to do with 'love'. THey are sparks and excitement and lust. But love is not sometihng you fall into. It is an act. But people settled back in relationships and the 'spark' invariably disappears and then they believe its because they fell out of love. But i think those people shoudl ask themselves how much of themselves they put into it.

Anyhow to answer your question if you come to a realization, that required much thought and self analysis to get to, then you owe it to your ex and to yourself to let them know how you feel. But i MUST stress as a dumpee under these circumstances, you HAVE to be committed to this. You must wait several months to ensure the feelings are still there AND you must realize that the novelty of getting back together will also go away one day. And you will be in the same situation again. Will you leave once the going gets tough? DO you have the tools and maturity to really be in a long term reelationship?

Do not hurt this person again. And to tell you the truth, they probbaly wont be interested. If they aren't, move on and learn a tough lesson.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Sun, 09-12-2004 - 12:31pm
Do you believe that its possible to feel as if something is gone from the relationship..something is missing or that it just isnt right...and come to find out that you were wrong all along?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2004
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 1:21am
I believe it's possible cos I had it happen to me. There were problems I had that I thought were because of being with the particular person I was with, but then I ended up having the same problems in the next relationship. So I was definitely wrong. Twice in a row? It has to be something within me and not them.