I don't want to get over him
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I don't want to get over him
| Mon, 12-11-2006 - 1:07am |
I was with my boyfriend for 7 years and he just broke up with me 3 weeks ago. I knew that things weren't going well - we had problems communicating, but, I never would have thought that he'd break up with me. I honestly thought that we were going to get married. And now I find myself sitting here, alone, at 1:00 in the morning typing a message for a break up board. What's even harder to accept is that he already has a new girlfriend. How, after 7 years can a guy even look at another girl that way so suddenly? Anyways, everyone tells me that I should just focus on something else and forget him. But I don't want to. I mean, I feel like I hate his guts for what he's done but at the same time I want to drive to our old house and get down on my hands and knees and beg him to take me back. I just can't accept that he doesn't love me anymore and I'm afraid that if I act like I don't need him (like everyone tells me to) that he'll believe that and just go away.

Hey-
I’m sorry for what you are going through right now. I just wanted to reach out and say that you are not alone at 1 am…technology can be a wonderful thing, like these message boards. I’m glad you wrote in. There are lots of nice people here to listen and support you. And they can relate because they're going through a loss and grieving like you are.
Its not reasonable for you to just forget about him right now. The breakup is still very new and feelings you are having are very raw. And what you are going through is normal. I know, this may not be very comforting to hear, but allow yourself to go through this process. Your emotions will be all over the place- love to hate, back to love, then hate again…
I broke up with my boyfriend about a month and half ago and I’ve been going through the grieving process, even if he treated me poorly and that it was probably best not to be with him, it doesn’t take away the feelings of pain and loss.
Please just take care of yourself right now. I’m sure what you’ve been through has been a shock.
Take some deep breaths, tell yourself that you will be ok and get some sleep. Take one day at time.
Take care,
MK
Thank you for your reply - the support definitely helps. Maybe this is wrong of me, but I feel a little better knowing that I'm not the only one who feels like this.
The emotions involved with this have just been all over the board. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who knows how this feels and no one else could possibly understand it but I guess that's a bit unreasonable of me. I just never could have imagined that the pain would be so unbearable. I mean, I always knew there was a possibility it wouldn't work out but I never anticipated feeling like this. It really has to be the worst feeling.
But, thank you.. knowing that there is other people out there who know how I feel and are feeling the same way really helps. I know that you are going through the same thing and I really do wish you the best - I know now just how difficult it is. But I suppose these things happen all the time and people eventually get over it and move on - it's just so hard to believe that though when it happens to you and it's still so new.
I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. I think we have all been there and felt this way at least once when going through a difficult break up. But here is one very important thing to remember: You can not make someone do or feel something they don't want to.This is a very hard lesson especially when you are so close to the break up and in so much pain. When you feel like calling him or camping out on his lawn, call a friend and vent or post on this board, but don't give into those irrational urges, because in the end being with you is his decision, no matter how wrong it may be.
Hugs,
YG
YG
http://twodatediva.blogspot.com/
It makes me so sad to think that my love is done forever for him. It's gone and he is never coming back!!! He is never going to apart of this short life with me and I loved him with all of my heart and soul. It kills me inside, but somehow I got through 3 months without him. Today is only day 9 of no contact, but I just want to contact him so badly, but it doesn't get you anywhere. Then I think, if I don't contact him, maybe he will contact me, but why even care. He's probably thinking thank god she isn't calling or texting.
It kills me to think he is with someone now. It makes me so sick, that I need to stop thinking of them together. But I can't.
Me 31, DH27, married may2008 went off b/c at that time, no af, PCOS since 17. MTHFR factor. HSG clear, 1st round of clomid 100mg, 1000 mg Metforim late July 09, Waiting to see if O'd.
The last thing you should do is go over to his house and beg for him to come back because that is not going to happen if he has already found someone else. It is very hard to accept that your boyfriend of 7 years has already found another but men are like that and we women just have to accept it. You have closure in the fact that he has someone else so take that closure and run with it no matter how painful it is. Three weeks after a break up is not very long at all to forget someone you have been with for 7 years. I was burned over Father's Day weekend by someone who I deeply loved and now I am just realizing that it was for the best even though I still think about him. One day you will also realize that this was for the best and I would highly recommend reading "It's called a breakup because it is broken". This book will open your eyes on why relationships end.
Take Care!
"I mean, I feel like I hate his guts for what he's done but at the same time I want to drive to our old house and get down on my hands and knees and beg him to take me back."
DO NOT BEG!! The best thing to do is to get through this with as much dignity and grace as possible--you don't want to look back on this one day and cringe.
"I'm afraid that if I act like I don't need him (like everyone tells me to) that he'll believe that and just go away."
This going to sound harsh but he broke up with you after seven years and is dating another woman--right now he sure as heck doesn't care about your feelings and to worry about getting back together will do you no good. Keep that thought out of your head and just focus on you. Start by doing things you may're always wanted to do but didn't because of him. It will take your mind off of things and think of all the new, wonderful people you may meet. This will get better.