I end it, then wanna get back him agian

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2005
I end it, then wanna get back him agian
5
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 10:41pm
Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and half, within that time, ive broken up with him twice. Everytime I do it, it feels right at first but then after a few days I start feeling very sad,depressed,lonley, so bad to the point where i dont get out of bed and cant stop crying. And then I always want him back, and he always takes me back and then at first it amazing but then it eventually starts to go downhill and now im in the same situation. Its so bad right now, we dont have a good time when we are together, and fight constantly. It doesnt seem to bother him at all though, I guess he considers this normal. I also never feel like having sex with him anymore or being as affectionate. He is my first love so that may be why I find it so hard to let go, but other then that I have no idea why I do this. Is there anyone else ever been in the same situation?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2007
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 12:22am
Yes! I am in that situation at this very moment! And I don't even know how to help myself..but I totally understand you..I have been with my bf for 5 and 1/2 years...I wish I could help...I wish you luck :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 12:54am

Welcome to the board christie383,


Ending a 'first love' relationship is hard, very hard.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sat, 08-25-2007 - 1:46am

Actually yes, same period of time, same cycle of break ups unti he finally ended it.

Seems as if you're cycling through the same old routine every..single...time. Take a few days off and do some reflecting about why you're stuck in the same old rut.

Susanna

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2005
Sat, 08-25-2007 - 12:48pm
I just dont know what to do, Im so confused and have so many different emotions about the situation. I dont love him anymore and I know its not fair to him to stay with him when I feel this way, but I cant break up with him for a 3rd time! I feel horrible and guilty about this. When I broke up with him the second time, we were apart for 2 months, and then I just couldnt take the loniless anymore and called him, he was doing fine without me and was getting on with his life and then I came back. I feel so bad about this, he doesnt deserve this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
Sat, 08-25-2007 - 6:05pm

Christie,

You are going to feel bad for hurting him, but you must put yourself first. Yes, you might feel like a fool breaking up with him for the 3rd time, but if it's what your heart is telling you to do, it's right. And it's not fair to him to stick with him when you don't truly love him anymore. You can't beat yourself up about it, not every guy is the right guy for you and it doesn't seem like he's the right one. You were together for a long time, you probably went through a lot of experiences together, and became really good friends as well as boyfriend/girlfriend. It's natural that you're going to be sad after you break up. You're grieving the loss of the relationship. But trust me, you won't feel like this forever. If you still feel miserable in 6 months maybe you could give it another shot. Until then, surround yourself with friends, go to movies, out to dinner, go on different dates, do things that make you happy and feel good. Do not call him. You both deserve to get on with your lives and meet people who make you feel fulfilled and happy. Whatever is meant to be, will be.