I ended 7 yr relationship, having doubts

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2004
I ended 7 yr relationship, having doubts
3
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 9:38pm

I broke up with my boyfriend (Lucas) of 7 years on wednesday. Let me start by saying that he is an amazing man and would do ANYTHING for me! Anything I asked him. He gives me massages, kisses me all the time, loves to snuggle, listens to me bitch and moan, etc. You ask, "why would you break up with a guy like that?" Answer: I dont believe that two people can be together forever without having any other experience with anyone else. Stupid me. Anyway, about 5 months before the breakup I started thinking about it (I have been dating him since I was 16) but wasnt really sure then I started hanging out with this guy that I hadnt seen since I was 5 and we hung out usually once a week but never kissed or anything. I think I may have had a little crush on him and this made me realize that maybe Lucas isnt the guy I am meant to be with my entire life and there are other people out there and we should both experience that.

So I broke up with Lucas on Wednesday and it was the hardest thing I have ever been though. I feel so completely lonely right now and I am wondering if I made the right decision. I cant stop thinking about him and I think about him more now than I have for the past 2 years. I want to call him and talk and go to his house and give him the biggest hug ever. I am confused because I dont know if my feelings mean that I still love him and want to be with him or that I simply feel bad for him and all the pain I put him through. After the breakup I feel like I am more in love with him than ever. I cant stop thinking about him! Everytime my phone rings I hope its him. I check my email every 10 minutes hoping he emailed me. I am so scared that I made the wrong decision. My mom said my feelings might be coming from the fact that I know I cant have him anymore so I want him even more but its not like we are completly ending our relationship. He has emailed me twice since Wednesday and he said he is going to call me this week to come get his movie that I borrowed. I am so confused about my feelings right now. I want to call him so bad and tell him I made a mistake and please forgive me but then why did I break up with him in the first place...will those same thoughts come back?

Honestly, the only reason I broke up with him in the first place is because we have been dating too long. That is the ONLY reason. I messed up. I hear everyone elses breakup stories about how their boyfriends were abusive or had anger issues or just simply didnt give them enough attention. Everything Lucas did was positive and he gave me enough attention, is a wonderful person, I dont know why I broke up with him! I really dont!

Edited 1/6/2007 9:54 pm ET by perns02




Edited 1/6/2007 11:33 pm ET by perns02
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 10:36pm

Some people can live with only being with one person. Others really do feel they are missing out on something if the don't date around, etc. Our minds have a way of playing tricks on us...

So what happened to the guy you had a crush on?


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2004
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 11:07pm
i dont even care about him i just want my boyfriend back right now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Sun, 01-07-2007 - 12:47am
Ok, say you get him back....now what? How long does it last? I mean, before you *think* you haven't experienced enough, that you both should date others, that you are kind of bored, that you have another crush? Until you get to the bottom of your feelings, it could happen again. And if you get back together with your boyfriend, how do you rebuild the trust so he isn't always waiting for you to ask for a break again? Or even worse, this little break, may have cost you his trust forever. He may never quite be the same.


Carrie