1. Who says he walked away so easy just because he didn't succumb to dramatics and endless back and forth after the breakup? It may very well have been the hardest thing he's done in his life, to walk away from a woman he loved but just couldn't make it work with, not the way she was acting. We say that to posters all the time, "Love and respect yourself, we teach others how to treat us." Well, he's teaching you that the way you were being was not the way to treat him, but that doesn't mean he never loved you.
2. "Shouldn't he have tried his damnedest to stick this out?" Again assuming he didn't. Why? Just how much more were you ready to dish out to him? Maybe that WAS his limit. If others think I'm being harsh, it's only because I do remember your orginal post and how badly you emotionally beat not only him but yourself up. You are being judge, jury, executioner in your life. Don't keep doing that to yourself.
For what it's worth, I strongly disagree that good men are hard to find. They are all over the place, but we as women really need to come into our own in order to not only recognize them, but also to inspire them. They don't exist in a vacuum. I'm thinking when you erase the doubs that come creeping into your mind about whether he loved you "enough" (my vote is he did), THEN you will truly be able to fully heal. I wouldn't worry about writing to him or anything at the moment, it doesn't seem you're in a happy enough state of mind to be able to do that successfully. Wait and keep working towards that. Remember, these things always and without question work out exactly the way they are *supposed* to.
Omg!!! I so feel you it has been nearly two months since we broke up and I often question how its so easy for him. I am so broken up and it seems as if he is not affected as
Thank you for that. Actually, your words weren't harsh at all. They were EXACTLY right!
I believe one of the reasons I am having such a hard time with this is because I was mainly to blame. I was not myself, completely volatile and VILE! I don't know if it was the distance that drove me nuts? Mainly, it seems like once I became engaged I felt the need to "latch onto" him and try to take control. At that point I really had something to "lose". It was
Good for you that you're doing what you can to be a better person, especially while trying to heal from a breakup.
Couple of things:
1. Who says he walked away so easy just because he didn't succumb to dramatics and endless back and forth after the breakup? It may very well have been the hardest thing he's done in his life, to walk away from a woman he loved but just couldn't make it work with, not the way she was acting. We say that to posters all the time, "Love and respect yourself, we teach others how to treat us." Well, he's teaching you that the way you were being was not the way to treat him, but that doesn't mean he never loved you.
2. "Shouldn't he have tried his damnedest to stick this out?" Again assuming he didn't. Why? Just how much more were you ready to dish out to him? Maybe that WAS his limit. If others think I'm being harsh, it's only because I do remember your orginal post and how badly you emotionally beat not only him but yourself up. You are being judge, jury, executioner in your life. Don't keep doing that to yourself.
For what it's worth, I strongly disagree that good men are hard to find. They are all over the place, but we as women really need to come into our own in order to not only recognize them, but also to inspire them. They don't exist in a vacuum. I'm thinking when you erase the doubs that come creeping into your mind about whether he loved you "enough" (my vote is he did), THEN you will truly be able to fully heal. I wouldn't worry about writing to him or anything at the moment, it doesn't seem you're in a happy enough state of mind to be able to do that successfully. Wait and keep working towards that. Remember, these things always and without question work out exactly the way they are *supposed* to.
Good luck,
Omg!!! I so feel you it has been nearly two months since we broke up and I often question how its so easy for him. I am so broken up and it seems as if he is not affected as
Sandradee,
Thank you for that. Actually, your words weren't harsh at all. They were EXACTLY right!
I believe one of the reasons I am having such a hard time with this is because I was mainly to blame. I was not myself, completely volatile and VILE! I don't know if it was the distance that drove me nuts? Mainly, it seems like once I became engaged I felt the need to "latch onto" him and try to take control. At that point I really had something to "lose". It was