I feel much better, but...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2011
I feel much better, but...
4
Tue, 07-26-2011 - 12:14pm

I began frequenting these boards in April and May when my gf of 2 years and I broke up. In the beginning I was a total wreck. I wanted her back, I was angry about situation, and there were just so many negative emotions floating around. Well, time has since passed and I've picked myself up off of the ground and pushed forward. I've since been working our tirelessly and am in incredible shape, I've moved into a new apartment close to my job (I'm a recent college grad), and I've pretty much grabbed a good hold of my life. I'm even seeing a therapist to just work on my internal issues.

Next month, she and I are to be in a wedding for her cousin. Of course, we're paired up together and such. Since the break up, we've spoken periodically, sometimes she contacts me, other times I contact her. Sometimes it seems like she misses me, and sometimes I seem like the person who misses her. As of right now she's on a trip in NY (we live in SoCal) and I'm not really sure if she's having a great time or not. We spoke via video chat yesterday and I showed her my new place and she showed me where she was staying in NY, good times....

So what I'm basically trying to say is, I feel much better than I did months ago. I'm kind of living out my dreams. I've dated a handful of girls since our breakup, some of them really want me too. But, I think I still miss her. In fact, I think I miss her alot. I don't know what I should do. This morning when I woke up, I just wanted her to care again. I'm not sure how to handle this situation. Any words?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Thu, 07-28-2011 - 12:59pm

Hi and welcome back.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Thu, 07-28-2011 - 1:10pm

So you've been broken up from April to July, not a terribly long time when you dated her for two years. I understand you miss her, but is that reason enough to get back together? Ultimately, is that what you want? Just because you miss someone and want her to care doesn't mean that being in that relationship is the best thing. Sometimes you have feelings like that that cannot be fully satisfied.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2011
Wed, 08-17-2011 - 12:30pm

UPDATE:

A lot has happened since I first mentioned this story. A few days after intially writing to you guys, I told her how I felt, and she sort of blew me off and got an attitude.Told me she had moved on and so forth. So I retreated and didnt have any intentions on contacting her. But about a week later she contacted me and asked me to do her a favor. She wanted me to give the bridal party some money on her behalf because she was tired of dishing out money for wedding expense. I told her no, and that it felt like she was using me, and then she exploded in rage and told me to never talk to her again and never mention her name, yada yada, and don't even look at her during the wedding festivities...

Then flash forward to all the wedding festivities. All the guys and girls involved took a party bus to San Diego and we were all drinking and dancing on the bus and low and behold she ends up right next to me. We're both intoxicated, and now we're flirting, and she's sitting on my lap, I think we kissed. But there was no sex and still minimal contact for the wedding weekend. We were on friendly terms though. She sought out speaking to me when I was prepared to ignore her forever just as she asked.

I'm not sure she's in a truly happy place right now. She's taken up smoking again, and she looked pretty down towards the end of the wedding. I asked her why she looked sad, she mentioned that she wished she was back in NY (she was there on an extended vacation living independently for pretty much the first time in her life [she still lives with her mother], and she was upset that she had to start work again soon, she works in education) She's always wanted to be a true grown up. But some things haven't happened the way she would have liked so she's 25 with a 4 year old, living at home still. She has a good job though, and I'm very proud of all the progess she's made in the years I've known her. We've both made great progess individually.

Well, now all the events are over and I'm right back where I was about a month ago, missing her. I've learned to cope with these feelings pretty well though. I have other girls that I'm seeing, nice girls too. But I feel like they're all just here to pass the time. She's who I want. Don't think it's going to happen though. Thanks for any words or any advice guys.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2011
Wed, 08-17-2011 - 12:30pm
Hi :) thanks for the warm welcome.