I Feel So Bad ......Long

Avatar for rmoore_00
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I Feel So Bad ......Long
2
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 12:38pm

Hi! I am not really new to this board but I have not been here in a few years. My and ex and I broke up on Thanksgiving and it was all my fault. We have been together for about 7 months but have known each other for two years. When we first met we saw each other on and off but never anything serious. Well in June of this year he called me out the blue and wanted to know how I was doing and from there we started seeing each other seriously. Well when I wentinto the realtionship with him I was not quite sure about it because when we saw each other before we would make plans and then he would stand me up or make up some excuse why he could not go out with me.

I was excited he came back into my life because we always go along so great and have great chemistry. We started seeing each other again and one Saturday night we had plans to do something together and he called at the last minute and said that his parents were coming to visit him and we would see each other later. Well in my mind he was doing it again like he did before so I got mad and went out with my friends that night. Well one thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with a guy I knew and then from there me andthis guy started talking occasionlly as friends I guess. We did not talkall the time just every once in a while and we never talked about hooking up again. I was still seeing my ex the whole time is the worst part about it. I never though about hooking up with the other guy again because I was very happy with Scott,my ex. Then Scott started becoming really busy and he would alwyas tell mehe was going to come see meon different nights and then would call a few hour before and makeup an excuse that he was tired or he had to get up early the next morning or something. It was really discouraging and it hurt me. Sometimes when we would make plans to see each other he would make other plans to help out his friends. I felt like I was second best to him. Well theother guy called a few times to see what I was doing and asked me to meet him and someof his friends out one night. I was so tired of sitting home alone so I went and my ex found out about it and it was a huge mess. Turns out the night my ex found out about it I also found out that the other guy was married. Me and my ex eventully worked it out and got back together and he was starting to forget it happened so he says anyway. I vowed that it would never happen again and would not talk to the other guy anymore. Things were better and I told the other guy that meandmy ex were together again and we could not talk anymore orseeeach other and it was all a huge mistake and it never should have happened and he should workon the relationship with his wife. Well I never called this guy anymore and was all with my ex when I was notworking. Well since all that happened the other guy called me twice and like a fool I talked to him and I don't know why. I did not want anything more with him but I still talked tohim and my ex found out and broke up with me.

Since me and my ex broke up I called the guy's wife at work to tell her what had been going on and to confess the truth. I felt a little better about it but I was upset over my ex and knew that would not get him back. the whlethings has turned into a big mess and then my parents got involved because I was really upset about it and horribly depressed and threatened to take my life. My dad made me promise him that I would not call Scott and he told Scott not to call me because I needed to go on with my life and forget Scott. Well this was really hard and only lasted a day because Scott called me and left a message on voicemail crying stating how much helovedme and how he always will and I called him back. We talk a while and he said that he could notlive without and he wanted to try again. I told him that I loved him too and would love another chance with him if he could do it. We talked yesterday morning and decided that we would try to work it out but we promised each other that we would not date other people while trying to work it out. Scott called and talked to mymom yesterday and told her what we agreed to and that he couldnotlive without me and he wants to make things work. He also told her that in his life he walked away from a number of females but I was one he could not bring himself to walk away frombut he knew it would take time to work things out between us. After he talked to my mom he called me and said that he just needed to find a way to get everyhting that has happened out of his head and to cope. He says he thinks about it everyday. I just wonder if he can put it out of his mind so that him and I can be together again. My dad keeps telling me that it will never go away and both of us will always keep it in mind and that we should just forget each other. I don't know what to think but I knwo I love Scott very much and I do regeret what I did. I know if he does not come back I only have myself to blame. Sorry this is so long but I really needed to get all that out. Any Advice would be appricated!

Rachael

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 10:40pm
Don't feel sorry for your post length...that's what we're here for, afterall. It sounds to me like Scott really wants to work things out so just work with him. It's going to take alot to regain his trust but if you both try hard enough you can make this work and no matter what you do.....don't talk to that other guy anymore!!! Good luck and keep us posted!!











Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Sat, 12-04-2004 - 7:57am
Hi Rachael, there are a few red flags that you should watch out for: 1. His last-minute call offs to a date, 2. your 1-nite stand 'cause of his call offs, 3. Your dads advice to leave and N/C ... in other words, do you want to give Scott another chance to improve his behavior?? Otherwise you aren't happy with him ~ take care, V