I feel terrible.........

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2003
I feel terrible.........
3
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 2:22pm

I broke up w/my fiance & feel awful. The last thing I want to do is hurt him. He was home over the holidays & things were strained. I was already feeling myself pull away & we both can at least agree that we rushed things.

I told him on Jan 3rd how I'd been feeling.... that I needed my space & was in no way shape or form ready to be married, much less engaged. He just started boot camp so he told me I would have my "space".

I hadn't talked to him since the 10th until yesterday (he hasn't been allowed phone calls). He was acting as if nothing had changed. I confirmed that I was still feeling the same.

I guess I'm just venting. There's not a lot I can do. I just want his pain to go away & I want to quit feeling so bad. :-(

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 3:42pm

sarazette...


The only pain that YOU can control....is YOUR OWN!


Everybody (including your ex/bf) mends differently....and oftentimes, words of 'reassurance' will keep the wound of rejection open much longer!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2003
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 8:45pm

Thanks pianoguy, and no I can't do the mending. And wouldn't ya' know it, this IS our 2nd chance. We lived together for over a year & then lost contact for several years. I ended up leaving the relationship, mainly due to money issues.

Then last year we met up & things went well & really, really fast. He was engaged at the time & I was in the (very early) process of leaving a 2+ year relationship and w/in a month we had broken up & were together.

But 2 months apart (he was out of state) & lots of time for me to think & I've realized I am not ready, nor do I want this right now. I felt myself always "keeping score" for things that had happened in the past & probably didn't give him enough time to prove that he's changed. At the same time I realized that some things he probably WON'T change, & I think they would have caused issues down the road.

It just really sucks because I DO care for him, very much and I know I always will. For lots of reasons there will ALWAYS be a place in my heart for him. I just don't know that he is "the one" for me. This is just so difficult & I'm trying to keep my chin up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 8:57pm
I know it's hard to break up with someone...and know that it's hurting them but just be proud of yourself that you were honest with him and yourself.
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