i have a date tonight.. worried!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
i have a date tonight.. worried!!
4
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 5:48pm

i have a date tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hes just recently graduated from the program that im in, and next year - ill be on the executive of the association that he was the president of this past year... we know some of the same people...see eachother on campus...our offices are in the same hall... so we've known each other for a bit now... BUT we've never actually spent one-on-one time with one another... i drove him home from campus once and on our way, we had lunch with a girlfriend of mine - but that was it!! and that was before my ex and i even broke up ...

he's cute. he's intelligent, has a great job lined up for him - and an overall, very nice guy ... he's a little bit smaller build than what im used to, but hes still nonetheless a good prospect.. :)

we started talking on msn a bit back after we exchanged contacts after a stock simulation trip that we were both a part of back in march. we've talked about hanging out for awhile now - but tonight - we're actually getting together!!

its not really the first "date" ive been on since my breakup. ive been talking with this other guy as well (ironically, i was actually just starting to date this guy before my ex came waltzing back into my life and i called that quits! grr) - but he'll be going away for the next four months anyways .. so really, nothing's gonna come out of it ..

anyways - now im all worried. what if it goes bad?? what if i think about my ex?? ill probably compare him to my ex!! ahh - now im nervous...

i keep thinking of how i can never seem to connect with anyone the way that i used to with my ex... we had this incredible connection and comfort level with each other that i know for a fact we dont share with anyone else... i dont know how im going to get that again with someone else?? what if i dont?!?!?!

but, at least this guy is one of the very few guys out of the many - whom i even care to spend any time with since my ex... but, from the way we've been and what i so far know of his personality - it doesnt seem like he'll be the greatest of a match?? i dont know?!?!

plus, this will be the first time ive set foot in a movie theatre since my breakup...my ex and i saw a ton of movies together and i havent been able to gather enough courage since the breakup to set foot in an environment that i know will remind me of him...

so now im worried... scared... but nervous..but excited..

cross your fingers for me!
eeksj

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 6:59pm

It doesn't really sound like you're remotely ready to date, so perhaps treating this as a "friends" situation would be best. If he tries to kiss you or whatever, let him know you've recently ended a r'ship and aren't ready for anything beyond a friendship at this point (but I wouldn't say anything unless he asks you out again, or otherwise indicates he's interested in dating you after tonight).

I think approaching it as "friends" will make tonight easier as well. Go, have fun and don't worry about it being a date.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 8:36pm

wrong this may be - but .. i just want so badly to have what i used to have with my ex again ... even though i dont want to have that with someone else, - the fact that my ex and i are no longer like that - i feel like im so eagerly "on the look out" for the next opportunity..i dont want to date around for the sake of it though - i feel like i just want that something "real" ...

mind you, i do have many opportunities...if i wanted to be out dating around, i really could easily do so ... but i havent... after last year's experience, i KNOW that rebounds are BAD if youre not READY to rebound! .. but atleast with this guy here, hes sparked some sorta interest in me - much more so than any of the other guys have in these last few months! thats a good sign??

im in the middle of getting ready right now .. and im wearing the earrings that my ex and i made together the weekend before we broke up .. i wouldnt wear them but they do match the outfit...

im not particuarly sad or anything right now, but - it brings a sense of nostalgia over me to think of how cute we were just days before everything fell apart... he had gone out for lunch with his parents while i was at work, he kept messaging me throughout...and afterwards, came to pick me up ... we went shopping together..i remember him giving me this silly smile as he watched me try on a pair of jeans in the change room, ..we did our groceries, made earrings at this bead store... he started bending these wires in these little weird shapes and made them into earrings for me and i joked about how id wear them to work even though they were hideous and inappropriate for the business atmosphere that im in! ... we rented a movie, cooked dinner together..i remember feeling so "homey" with him as he was on the patio bbq-ing our salmon steaks, and i was working on the rice and veggies...i remember thinking how i could be like this for a life time... we sat there on his couch for the rest of the night ... i remember how i was cold at one point .. and he got up and got me a blanket and wrapped them around my feet and pulled my legs on top of his ... i remember how we were too tired to have sex after everything, and even though i didnt have enough energy to anyways - i was secretly dissapointed at how he was exhausted.. lol .. ahh.. hmm :(

BUT OK - IM GOOD .. not too sad.. just recalling memories here - but thats ok..its natural to...right?! ok ok ..im good .. excited to go meet him tonight ...

wish me luck ... :S
eeks

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2005
Thu, 05-05-2005 - 1:58pm

Hey

Just wanted to wish you all the best for your date tonight!

Go get him girl! lol

Let us know how it went wont ya!

Katie :) x

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
Fri, 05-06-2005 - 5:36am

i went on the date...
it was very casual and low key .. which was what i needed!
i had a good time... glad i went..
BUT, i compared him to the ex :(
and since it was the first time ive been at the movies since the breakup - i did feel saddened...
the date emailed me today - thanking me for my company last night and is suggesting we do it again ...
im interested.. just dont know how much?????
i have no idea what would come out of it!!!

and thats the update! :)

P.S.
i went out for dinner with this guy tonight..hes a good friend of mine, and ive dated him twice..interestingly, he's the "epiphany of my dream man" (hes INCREDIBLY successful, goodlooking, take-home-to-mom kinda guy, we have the exact same tastes, same career path and interests, alike drives, etc etc)..AND hes still in love with me now... hes been very supportive throughout my breakup... ironically, him and i never work out because of my ex! .. anyways - so, i finally spent time with him (i keep avoiding it..its SOOO not nice of me) ..but nothings gonna happen...especially not now...

ahhh... even though its nice to be able to spend time with other men who appreciate my time... i still cant help but wish it was "you know who" i was with ... :(