I have to do it...
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I have to do it...
| Tue, 02-26-2008 - 6:16pm |
I am embarking upon my first self-instigated break-up. I have no real reason, except that we have different ideas of what a relationship looks and feels like. I've been with him for almost two years. I recently accepted a job and moved across the state to be closer to him. But nothing have changed. I've tried talking to him about it countless times, but it's always unfruitful. I want more and I'm not getting it, I haven't been getting it and I'm quite sure I never will if I stay. So, how do I go about doing this? Can I tell him over the phone, or do I need to be more formal than that? I've just reached the point where I'd rather be alone now than even try to make this relationship work anymore. I've emotionally checked out. How do I go about doing this? I feel terrible, but I can't stay.
"There are only two or three human stories, and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely as if they had never happened before."
Willa Cather
O Pioneers
Willa Cather
O Pioneers

I would say you have to do it in person...and you need to tell him why you are doing what you are doing and why it is the only way.
Unless you fear for your safety, a relationship of 2 years deserves an in-person break up and discussion.
I doubt he'll be surprised, since you've discussed what you want quite a few times, it sounds like.
It's not easy ending a relationship of that duration even when you know it's the right decision.
Willa Cather
O Pioneers
I still think in person, but if you would be totally fine with him breaking up with you over the phone, then maybe that's ok in the context of your relationship.
I would ask to see him at his house (so he doesn't have to drive anywhere to be broken up with) as soon as possible.
Willa Cather
O Pioneers
Again, I can only relate it to how YOU would want to be treated if you were in his place.
I was in an LDR that I just ended after 3 years. I had to end it on the phone because of distance, but as soon as we both got home from college, he wanted to see me in person. We had to go thru the heartbreak a second time. I think you have to end it in person and I think he deserves that. My ex was a mess so in case
Willa Cather
O Pioneers