i have to see him at work tomorrow!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2007
i have to see him at work tomorrow!
3
Sun, 03-16-2008 - 4:11pm

So unlike most people on these dating boards I havent been with my boyfriend for years now only 3 months but it was an intense 3 months. I would definitly not say that I am in love with him but more along the lines that I wanted to fall in love with him and I had such great expectations for us.

I went in to this situation with caution because we work together. This was something that was talked about from day 1 and we both agreed to take the chance and just go with the flow and see where things take us. Things natuarally progressed fairly quickly and the feelings and efforts seemed to be reciprocal. For the first two months I remember being compltely confident with everything we shared and their was never a question raised in my mind about wether he had good intentions with me or not. We had great chemistry and he let me know that he was happy to be with me.

So everything seemed to be going great until he recently became busy with trying to establish a new side business with some friends. During this time I never tried to make him compromise his time and always gave him the space he needed and was understanding when he needed to go work on it. Not too long after he started this business thing is when I noticed a change in his behavoir towards me and when i confronted him about it and he said he was confused and didnt know what he wanted. So I told him we should take the weekend to clear our heads then talk. After that weekend he assured me that this was what he wanted and things seemed like they were getting back to normal. Until this week when I finally got fed up with him never offering me gas or toll money. On top of things he asked me for a ride to work which made us 40 min late. I felt like he was taking advantage and this provoked a fight then I asked him to talk and it took him 3 days saying he was busy and his phone was dead. by this time i was so fed up that I was done. he said he cant handle a relationship and we kinda ended things.

That was Friday and now its Sunday I have to go into work and see him tomorrow morning and I been going nuts thinking about this all weekend. I been doing a pretty good job of not contacting him. i think i liked him a lot more than i thought cause this effecting me pretty hard. im not ready for things to be over even though that is what i thought i wanted. I just want to let him know that we could still be in a relationship and I understand that he is busy im here to support him. I know through the right communication this can work but i dont know how to get this across to him! for now i was just planning on playing it cool see what happens but im affraid if i dont say these words it will be too late.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 1:28am

hi there. im really sorry this happened with a work person. I understand 110% as my ex is someone I had worked with. I had to see him in my office a few weeks ago after a month of being broken up. Fortuntely, we dont work out of the same office reguarly now ( I relocated to another office 2 months ago).

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2007
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 8:29pm

UPDATE!!

Well by the end of last night I was starting to get my head back and realizing that maybe we are not the best fit and I havent been all that happy with him lately anyway. So trying to keep that in mind and keeping a positive attitude I set out to work with a smile. I was having the best day ever. My art director told me that he loved my logo and picked 2 of mine to show to the client. Maybe he was wondering why I had been so happy so he sent me an instant message around 11 am asking how my weekend was. We chatted about his he said that he was busy designing all weekend and then mostly talked about work from their but concluded the convo at the end of the day 530ish. Im not sure what this means probably that he didnt want me to feel awkward around him at work. I acted normally im not good at the little games and I didnt want to act cold. For now I guess I will see what happens and how the week plays out. I still have so many things that I want to say to him...I feel like nothing came out right in our conversation when ending things. I am going to continue to stay a couple steps back and let him come to me. I just wish I knew how to successfully slow things down after them starting out so fast.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 11:55pm

I think maybe its best to let it go for now. I've been there with the rs that go fast and it seems so right. But they end just as quickly because things went too fast and/or the other person decides its not for them. Have u read mars and venus on a date? Its really helpful in understanding why we need to go through each stage , sounds like u guys skipped the uncertainty stage and went right into committment. You did good tho and u should give yourself a pat on the back. Don't read a lot into his q's except if he asks do u want to get back together.

Big hugs.