i hooked up with someone...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
i hooked up with someone...
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 5:30am

so it was my birthday "celebration" last night ...and even though it wasnt as "great" as i hoped for it to be - i nonetheless had a great time and was so thankful for all my wonderful friends... and plus, i got a new pair of brown pumps!! two of my girlfriends bought me these shoes i had been eyeing - and im in love with them!! theyre pointy toed and stilletos - and although painful on the feet...theyre soo hot :D

anyways - sooo, we went out for drinks and food, and then headed over to a bar afterwards...at one point, this guy that i had kinda dated called me up ... he was in town for the night and wanted to see what i was up to... he tried to meet up with me and my friends, but due to a looong line up at the bar - him and his buddies went elsewhere instead... but we continued to converse several several times throughout the night (on our cells)...

because my girlfriends and i started the night early, i was sober by the end of the night and hence i ended up driving a few of the girls back home after the cab dropped us all off at my place... well, he called me while i was driving back - and we decided to get together...

we ended up back at his place and things got heavy...(we didnt have "sex-sex"...but ahhh, almost did!)

and so heres the deal with him... we met a couple years back when we were in first year (hes in my program) - and i knew then that he had a small crush on me (through people telling me) ... well, we started talking a lot more this year, and back in november/december - we went on a couple "dates" together...things were starting to "go somewhere" - but then my ex waltzed back into my life... so anytime hed make plans with me,- id make up a lie about being busy ...or if hed call me and i was with my ex, i wouldnt pick up, etc etc... so im sure that if my ex wasnt back in my life at that point - we probably would have been offically dating now ...so, even though weve been in touch with each other throughout these past few months - nothings happened... hes a really good guy too...comes from a great family, has a secure future, is smart, friendly, geniuine, we converse well, etc etc...

even though im interested in him - im really not so much because, as its obvious - im still soooooooo much emotionally involved with my ex... i think him and i will continue to talk and get together, but i dont think itll progress all that much seeing that he's not even in town for the next four months... and plus, hes travelling to europe in january...and although im open to the notion of one - i dont think im quite ready for a full fledged relationship...im probably at a point where i can date and rebound, but so far - nothing has incited me enough to want to open myself up like that again...

but anyways, ...last night was "wierd." ... i didnt like the way he kisses, and i didnt like the small dirty talk ... even though i was turned on - it realllly didnt rev me up the way my ex used to. mind you, i didnt physically enjoy my ex in the beginning either - but somewhere along the line - my ex and i just absolutely "fitted" with each other and he's become "my best." so i couldnt help but compare him with my ex last night... and although i really did enjoy his company...it makes me kinda blue to realize that its not my ex...that its just not the same......................