I just can't win here
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I just can't win here
| Fri, 05-27-2005 - 2:28pm |
Well, I am on the brink of a three day weekend without my girlfriend. To make a long story short, I got dumped last November and was absolutely crushed. A friend and I became close as she was going through the same thing. We turned into amazing friends, until one day she left for Europe for a week, and it took this absence to notice we had feelings for eachother. We've been 'together' for the last 3 months. Now she tells me its too hard, she doesnt want to be in a relationship with anybody and wants to be alone. She tells me she did love me but isnt 'in love ' anymore. I convinced her that maybe we took things too fast, that we should just date a couple times a week and have fun, lighten up etc etc. She agreed, reluctantly. We had the same problems of anybody else, though maybe it was just trying to figure out everything too soon. Communication is the problem. She cannot tell me she is upset or bothered by something I did or said. I am not a mind reader, how can I know? I am not verbally or physically abusive, cold or unaffectionate. She on the other hands says things that are sort of mean, but doesnt think about how it affects people...unless its being said to her I guess. Anyway, since we agreed to this, and I told her I couldnt do this alone, if she would at least give in to the possibilty that this could work for us no matter how minute in her eyes, that we would give it a try. Well, I've received only one phone call ( we talked 10 times per day, I got a cell phone just so we could talk) and no replies to any emails I've sent asking how her day is coming etc etc. I've kept them light, no pressure. She is leaving for a vacation, is busy with work etc etc . But I think I must be fooling myself here, how can I win anything? If I call I am pressuring her, if I dont, doesnt that negate the fact we agreed to try and date? Am I just a fool and this person just doesnt love me anymore and I wont take the hint? I am leaving for vacation tomorrow to see family, she is going on vacation to the same city but coming in the day I am flying out. She said I should stop by her and her friends penthouse room and have a drink before my flight just so I could see it (its suppossed to be pretty amazing) and now I wonder if this is just a token to keep me from asking anything from our relationship? I just dont know anymore. Sorry for the length, I am glad this board is here, good luck to all the others here!
