I just don't know...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
I just don't know...
3
Tue, 02-12-2008 - 9:13pm
So, I'm a bit taken back. I've been doing good. It's been about a month since me and my fiancee broke up. Mind you this has been coming for the pass year. It's been a long hard struggle, he's been verbally, physically, and emotionally abusive to me for awhile...and he can't hold down a job. Anyway, I thought I really loved him..but then when we broke up.. I realized, I felt like I could breathe again, not so much as feeling depressed as I once did when we took a break the first year we were together...It kind of felt good to be separated from that constant misery actually...so, anyway, my ex started messing around with my best friend...they were going behind my back lying about stupid stuff..it became too much. Both of them lie, so, I dont really know the honest to god truth, I ended up kicking him out of the house..He moved in with her sister... It's just been haywire ever since. I ended up vowing never to talk to either one of them again. Well, my ex ended up calling me 4 times the other day, then the girl who i thought was my best friend called me one more time after that... I ignored it. then today she called back...left a msg saying it was very important. I called her back, to find out my ex's uncle had passed away...a uncle we were both kind of close with. It broke my heart, but i was angry i had to hear it from her. I was angry that I have to be constantly reminded that theyre doing whatever. Maybe that's selfish...but I was. Then ontop of it, my anger got the best of me, and I called and said so, your gf called and i hear your uncle passed away..Why didn't you call? Knowing he did.. He basically told me he'd be fine, and if i wanted to come up to the wake, I could..but his cousins were here. I feel sick to my stomach. I don't know where to go from here or what I'm suppose to do...I dont even kniow why I'm questioning this.. I feel like Ive taken a step back verses a step forward...and it scares me...



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2007
Tue, 02-12-2008 - 9:30pm

This whole situation just sucks for you and I truly am sorry that you are going through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 12:44pm

Welcome to the board anda55,


You don't have to go to the wake no matter how close you were to his uncle.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 10:11pm
He called me later that night. We started to argue, but he got mad and said he didnt want to deal with that now. Yeah, no kidding... I don't want to deal with it ever! I just started crying, I havent done that in such a long time. I was literally heart broken talking to him. Then I cried all morning and on my way to where I student teach. I felt so sad. I was all over the place all day. It was an uneasy feeling. I ended up emailing him to tell him I was thinking about him, and that I wanted him to send my love to the family. And then...like a retard... I signed it love you:(. Then it's one of those things where you're like why the heck did you just do that? he txted me back saying, thanks for the email...he really appreciated it. I just left it at that..I don't know why I was all of a sudden so taken back. Now, I'm fine. lol. Like its just another day. Weird huh ...