I keep dreaming about him!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2003
I keep dreaming about him!
5
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 3:05pm
Almost every night. Just last night I dreamt that he wanted to have a friends with benefits relationship which I said no to and then he said it was just was as well because I was fat anyways (which I am not, I lost 25 lbs when I was with him from 155 to 130 and I am 5'7). I dont know why this is happening. Just a few nights ago I had a dream I saw him at the dry cleaners and I flipped him off and then some other girl walked by me and said wow I just meet the nicest men here (referring to him) and I just started to laugh hysterically because she didnt know what she was getting herself into. Anyone else have these problems? I have had other dreams too like we were still together but things about our life together had changed for the better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 7:07pm

I have found that this is a normal stage of hurting. You go through so many stages... the holding out hope, denial, anger, crying all the time, not sleeping or eating, nightmares, etc. The nightmares happen because when you go to bed at night chances are you are sad and lonely and you are thinking about your ex. By the time you fall asleep your body has been saturated with thoughts of your ex and it plagues you while you sleep by coming out in nightmare form. I have noticed that all these stages start to lesson with time. The first month of my breakup I couldn't sleep, I woke up every hour and my heart hurt so bad and I would instantly feel sick to my stomach. It has been over two months now and those phases are coming and going now. As I look back I am already so much better then I was in the beginning. Things are starting to present themselves, like the idea that he may already be seeing someone else and it hurts me but I have noticed that it doesn't consume my whole day like it would have a month ago. It sets me back and I cry for a minute then I stop and move on with my day.

I can't tell you how sad I feel when I read all the postings to think that there are so many others out there with their own memories of an ex and their own pain. I would never wish this on anyone and yet I am right in the middle of it myself. You know they say 'that which does not break us makes us stronger' and right now I don't understand that saying because all I want is to have my life with my ex back but maybe a higher power has a better plan for me. I don't feel like it is fair that I need to go through this type of pain in order to learn or to build myself into a stronger person. Who said I wanted to be a stronger person? I just want to be happy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Mon, 10-10-2005 - 8:28am
The pit in your stomach aches..I hate that anxious feeling of heat surrounding my heart..it comes in waves when I think of whoever she is with him..the pain s&^%s right now..I do not wish this on anyone..I pray each day for peace..
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 4:49pm
Me too, and another thing is I live with my sister, she has been divorced twice by 2 cheating losers and is still very bitter, so everytime me and my boyfriend got into a fight or whatever she was always right there, get rid of him blah blah blah, so now he cheated on me and left me and all i hear is I told you so, what are you crying over him for he sure aint crying over you, etc so i cant even really cry when i need to without hearing it from her, she now has the unhealthy definition of life as, No need for a man ever again, if you want to have children get artificially inseminated and have one night stands or brief encounters for sexual release for the rest of your life but dont get involved with them, which at 45 and one hysterectomy later is probably fine for her but at 36 and having never been married isnt fine for me so i really dont have a support system because I work with all men and have no female friends whatsoever and cant even wake up and cry after a bad dream without getting grief
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 6:17am
I hear you loud and clear! I've had my second dream in about 4 days about my ex and we just really broke up on Saturday. I maybe once had a dream about him the 9.5 months we were together. It sucks. I wake up in the morning and then remember he's gone. How awful.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 8:38am
Yep, I just had another completely sleepless night, thanks to my friend calling me and telling me about him on the phone with this other girl, going over in my mind the things he said to me that he is probably saying to her, and with the holiday season coming up, picturing her getting to spend the holidays with the family I grew to love so much, I just don't know how to get thru it, to stop thinking about it.