I Know He Is a Bum, But Why Does It Hurt

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2005
I Know He Is a Bum, But Why Does It Hurt
3
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 3:46pm

Hi,

I posted before about my breakup, which occurred a little over 2 weeks ago. I know:

1) That he was never gainfully employed and was basically mooching off me (now he is mooching off his aunt);

2) Cannot provide for this daughter, although he has sole custody (but child has been with her mother for the last 8 months, he sees her one weekends - only for 2 hours last weekend because he was "too tired");

3) Lazy: never finished projects he started around my house; knew he needed a second job but found excuses for not having one.

4) Convicted of felonies in the military and was less than honorably discharged. Probably why he is where he is today....don't think he can go back to school or go into the medical or law enforcement profession like he thinks he can.

So, why did I get mixed up with him, let him move in and be a part of my and my daughter's lives? Why do I even care enough to post on here???

Bunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 5:53pm

Hi Bunny,


You still have to go through the grieving process of a break up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2007
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 7:46pm
You care because you're human. Don't be so hard on yourself for caring, this was someone you loved. Clarity hurts, I know, I've had big chunks of it fall on my head too. Seeing the reality of a person doesn't automatically erase the feeling you have for them. Lots of us here know that! Be strong and go on!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2005
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 8:13pm
Thank you so very much for the link to the Relationship Grieving Process. I am not going to fight my feelings, which right now, consists of being mad at myself for getting mixed up with a BUM.