i left work because of him ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
i left work because of him ...
1
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 8:54am

i'm not as tough as i thought. i really thought i could do this, i thought i could handle it but i guess i was wrong.

last night i dreamed about him and i woke up this morning and called him, when I assumed he was getting ready for work. it's so cliche, i wanted him to tell me everything would be okay and just to take it easy. i didn't want to hear him say he loved me, or anything, i just wanted to hear his voice. he got mad when i told him i was just sad and wanted to hear his voice, and hung up on me and turned off his phone.

i went to work anyway (the only good thing i did this morning) and called him later from there. He finally answered and said he had been trying to sleep and his patience has run out with me and it bothers him to see me not taking care of myself. He doesn't like to see me be weak because I'm not a weak person. I hung up on him and snapped my cell phone in half (second time in 3 weeks I've done that) and then tried to call him back from work. He picked up the phone and said, "WHAT? I told you not to call me anymore!!" And I said, "When?" He said he had sent me a text telling me to leave him alone. I never got it because I broke my phone.

I was so upset and shaking that I had to leave work. I feel like the lowest of the low, I can't even work because I'm too upset (he works with me and it's too hard to see him), and I'm broke (how am i going to get a new phone? i have no idea). I just feel so pathetic. I thought I could be the tough ex, the cool one, the one who made it easy and now i'm turning into a psycho. Sometimes at night I wish I wouldn't wake up in the morning because it's got to be easier than feeling this way.

How do I get my dignity back?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 12:00pm

Hi lagritona and welcome to the board.


Sorry you are going through this.