I live right below my ex...eeek

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2007
I live right below my ex...eeek
6
Sun, 03-04-2007 - 4:25pm


Hi,

I just broke up with a girl I was with for 4 years...There was manipulation involved and and disrespect and at this point I decided not to talk to her. The issue I have that might be unique is that she lives right above me....I hear everything...Does anyone have any ideas on how I can cope better with this situataion? Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 03-04-2007 - 6:47pm
Hi cfrenzy,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2007
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 8:02am

Thank you for the reply,

Do you think it will take me longer to recover since my ex lives above me? Thank you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 9:45am
Wow, this happened to me once before too! My bf and I lived in a two family house that was converted into apartments. We were together for about a year and then he broke it off. Unfortunately we still lived in the same building, but he was two floors above me. Anyway it was pretty awful for me. I would hear him leave the driveway every morning for work, since my window was right next to the driveway. And of course when he wasn't home I'd be driving myself crazy wondering what he was up to. And then the worst part, he started dating someone else and I would see them walk in together when she'd visit on the weekends. That was REALLY hard, and made me incredibly angry. To deal with all of this, I just did my best to focus on being out of the apartment as much as I could, and doing things I enjoyed. Even if it was just making plans with a friend to meet out for dinner. Also we were within walking distance of a lot of restaraunts/bars, etc. so I tried to be out as much as I could. Eventually i got to the point where I wasn't looking out in the driveway to see if he was home, but it was still a difficult situation, everytime I heard him pull in to his parking spot it would kind of hurt my heart a little bit. Anyway I was living with two roomates and our living situation ended up kind of blowing up into a fight, long story, but at that point myself and one of the other roomates decided to get a place together. Fortunately our lease was month to month so we only had to give a month's notice and we were outta there. It helped me a little bit to move on, but at the same time I kind of missed knowing he was close by, as strange as it sounds. Anyway I agree with the earlier post, try and keep some music on, or the TV, or anything to fill up the place with your own noise. Try and go away on the weekends if possible. Go for a run, or a walk everyday at the same time. It will get easier eventually, I promise you. Maybe when your lease is up you can move out, it does make your life a little bit easier not having to run into that person. How much longer do you have on your lease?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 11:53am
It might, I think it depends on how often you run into each other and how you still feel about her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2007
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 1:22pm
Thank you very much for your story. It's tough because she is directly above me....I could move, that may be a possibility. The crazy thing is that I got her the apartment above me and totally rennovated it. I'm pretty sure she has a boyfriend or some sort of pal...I really don't want to hear any of their conversations...she's out of control and invites young guys over and they go crazy...it really is nuts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 2:28pm
You're welcome. Yes it is a unique situation, and it makes it harder to move on. Especially since you guys were together for a significant period of time. I think maybe it would help your frame of mind to move at some point. That way you can get a fresh start. It's hard to NOT think of that other person when they live in the same building as you. It sounds like you put a lot of work into making her apartment a nice place too. Though my apartment wasn't directly beneath my ex's, I was friends with the girl who lived directly underneath his apartment, and she told me some things she had heard from his bedroom shortly after we broke up. Needless to say these kinds of things were not pleasant to think about! Good luck with whatever you decide, I know it's a tough situation.