i love him i love him not

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
i love him i love him not
1
Fri, 11-19-2004 - 6:14pm
i dated a guy in the coast guard for a year and then he decided to leave the coast guard and move back home, since thats where his daughter from a previos marriage is. when he left he didnt really involve me, or ask me to come which really hurt me. we did end up staying in touch, i even went to visit him. the visit was ok , but i was still a little hurt and angry at him for leaving and not inviting me. well, about a year later he joined the coast guard again. i think he needs the structure in his life. anyway, we kept in touch all along. he's now in NC and im in RI. hes come here a few times and i went there once, but we have always kept in touch via email and phone. we werent technically togther, we were both allowed to date. when he moved home, i was very depressed and eventually (after a long time) got over him and learned to live without him physically but i think since we talked so much i didnt really let go emotionally.We went for about a month total of not talking at all, then we started to talk and he came to visit a few weeks ago. now he wants me part of his life, says he wants to marry me, and will try to be stationed near me next (in boston). im all confused, and due to our "messy" past and the fact that he lives pretty far away, and im in school (be done in may), i dont know what to do! i dont know if i love him or im just still emotionally attached. how do you know for sure especially with the distance thing involved?? my idea was to not talk for awhile. i tod him thats the only way i can really figure it out. i told him i need to finish school, organize my life a bit, date more people, and if im still wondering come summer time, than maybe i really do love him. what do you all think? sometimes i feel like if i even question it, it must not be true love but its a littl more complicated than that, isnt it?? its been a few days since ive told him this and its been hard to not talk to him! on the other hand i am not ready to pick up and drop what i have here.
any advice would be great!!
thank you soo mcuh!
p.s. all this has taken place in almost a 3 year period
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Sun, 11-21-2004 - 12:25pm
I know this is hard and I can only imagine the confusion but I think you're on the right track....don't make any rash decisions and give yourself some time without him to determine what you really want. Look deep in yourself and you'll figure out what is best for you. Good luck and keep us posted!!











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