I m confused and want him back!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
I m confused and want him back!!
1
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 10:57pm

my Ex called me one day to say he does not see our relationship going anywhere. (we had had a fight 2 days b4)

I was surprised as the day b4 he was very loving and caring...
I asked him do you want to break-up? so he said no let s talk about it tomorrow. I was agitated and asked him to come and pick up his stuff from my place and that I dont want to discuss anything... so we broke up and never talked again for 7 days.

few days later, I regret it. I know you cant end a relation like that so I called and asked him to meet over coffee and talk about it. Part of me still wants him. I know he might also want to get back together. (he does not resist too much my advances) and we ve had a previous breakup ( initiated by me) but then reconciled.
I do know we have communication problems in the relationship. I somehow think he is cheap and get very aggressive when he acts cheap. He insists he is not and thinks it is cultural differences. I will meet him sometime next week but I feel part of me is leaning to be back with him. I know it is wrong kuz he did not act like he cared a lot about my feelings when we broke up and was a little selfish.
I m lost. What should we discsuss when we meet? do we just say this is why we cant be together or should we maybe try to see if things can be different...

your suggestions are appreciated

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2006
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 11:00am
you konw, just from your email i can sense he wasn't treating you right. and when he said "this isn't going anywhere" a part of you was like - enough already and so you called it off. now, sonce YOU've made the first move it moght seem like you can initiate and get back, but from what you speak of him, more importantly what you feel about him, that you don't need to be around someone who is cheap/aggressive, ( i doubt that's cultural difference, all cultures teach you self respect and treating other's with respect as well - unless he wants to malign HIS clture!!) you need to leave. stay strong . don't call back. fact that he's NOT calling back, automatically means he's doing alright. he intended to berak up, you did it for him and now he doesn't want to be with you. i went through this before actually breaking up. the last break up was initiated by HIM coz obviously i wasn't strong enough to stay broken up. i could see i wasn't treated right, i'd try to break up and then eventually call and say let's work this through. what does he have to do? nothing just stay around, get some loving - no real WORK to improve the relationship. point is, i don't think he wants to be in a relationship with . hard pill to swallow. but really stay strong. you'll be happier in the long run.